Cutie Pie A

hoe season // chapter one

"Yoo get off your damn phone already, we're suppose to be finishing this fucking lab bro," Chantell yelled as she yanked my already fucked up hair.

"Jesus!" I yelled, "Did you forget my bitch ass is tender headed?"

"Sis, and did you forget your bitch ass is my lab partner and you're doing absolutely nothing to help out."

Man, did I sometimes get aggravated at Chantell. Funny right? You're probably thinking that I should be the last one talking and that she should be the one saying this right? Well guess what? I don't give a fuck. Chantell is my best friend, I've known her since the 8th grade. Not very long but long enough for me that I'm tired. But no, I would never stop being her friend. She's like a sister to me, and sisters annoy each other. Always gotta have that one friend that's like a mom, that's on your dick all the time. Then there's always that one friend who doesn't give a fuck. In my situation there's two that don't give a fuck. Me, and Tommy. Tommy obviously isn't in any of my classes but we still all hang out almost every weekend. I've known him since kindergarten. And to be honest, I'm closer to him than anyone else. Sophomore year so far has been absolutely peaceful. I can't explain how much shit I was in last year. Everyone hated me, everyone thought I was a slut, no one wanted to be my friend. But I always had Chantell and Tommy by my side. I mean it's only November, we aren't that deep into the school year yet so who knows what more could happen. No one has called me the "staircase" girl so far so I've been happy. Literally hearing the word staircase triggers me into tears.

I finally decided to put my phone down and stop searching for cute local boys to fall in love with and help Chantell.

"Hm, trying to find your future husband again huh?"

"No, it's hoeing season Chan, remember?"

"Oh please, you can never successfully "hoe" out Sammy. You fall in love with every boy you try to "use" or whatever you wanna call it"

Man, she's right.
I dated some dickhead named James in the 9th grade. Funny thing is, it was for a week. But it was and still is the most painful heartbreak I ever experienced and I still think nothing can beat that. Because even after we broke up, we still talked on and off for the rest of the school year. He would constantly tell me one thing, then do another. His actions never matched his words, he would constantly leave me for his ex who's tall enough to play for the Knicks, meanwhile he's only a couple inches taller than me and I'm 5'1. My whole school year last year was a living hell because of him. I had so many sleepless nights, went to school with bags under my eyes everyday, I cried every 2nd period, I was emotionally abused by him. It hurt so bad that it did become physical, that I ended up attempting to commit suicide. I was convinced I was ugly, worthless, that I would never find anyone else, and that anyone who comes after him will hurt me more and will just use me for sex. Well, according to him. James knew how to mess with my mind. He knew I would take him back in a split second. He'll tell me he loves me then push me into the walls at school and tell me to not look at him and to, get my "ugly ass away". Not to sound conceited, but I know I'm not ugly. Now I do. It took me the whole summer to heal and rebuild myself. I would have thought it'd be longer than that. Towards the end of the school year though we stopped communicating for good. I was talking to some senior at the time and life was good, that's when all the rumors about me died down. Too bad though in the middle of the summer the senior kind of went ghost. But James did so much damage to me that when the senior went ghost I cried for 5 minutes and forgot about him. I came to the realization that the senior probably wanted sex. Just like most. But I'm a virgin. Well towards the end of the summer James found his way back into my instagram Dms. I always dreamed of it happening back then. I always dreamt of him telling me how sorry he was and how much he misses me and wants me back. Eventually though I had to stop thinking about it happening and move on. And I did. And like people say, they always come back when you want nothing to do with them. I read that on the internet. Who would have thought google was accurate? It was right. When James came back into my life again, I did freak out, I jumped up and down, but it's not like I was waiting for it like I was before. I wasn't expecting it, and I was not planning on taking him back. I just loved to see him beg. As cruel as that sounds. I played mind games with him back, because I knew he didn't change. He would always do this and expect me to take him back but when he realized how much I changed, he gave up. James still comes back into my life though every now and then, but I remain to dub him because my feelings for him completely vanished and it feels amazing to say that. But my rule was to never fall in love after him again. But I ended up crying over some boy three weeks into the start of school. I seem to be healing from them quickly than I expected through. That's besides the point. Now I've just been talking to boys without getting attached. Life is great. But if I'm going to be honest here, I've been talking to boys for too long that I'm getting bored. I want to settle down, but I'm terrified of getting done dirty. And it's kind of hard for me to really fall for someone, but the scary thing is, when I do, I fall hard. I don't know, it's like their vibe or something. I like boys who say nice things to get a girl and not, "oh shawty ya ass fat hit my line." No. Huge turn off.

*Bell rings*

"Alright Chan, I'll see you tomorrow bitch."

"Of course, better text me though," Chantell laughed.

Home

Usually during the school week I don't socialize with my family much. I stay locked up in my room. Reminiscing about being in a long lasting relationship. On the weekends, I usually hang out with Tommy, sometimes with Chantell too. My phone begins to ring, I check and I see it's Tommy calling me.

"What's up bitch!" Tommy shouted

"Ugh, your energy is just what I needed. I'm tired of feeling lonely." I said

"Well I know what will help."

"Jesus, what now?"

"Friday, take my bus home. We'll have fun. Bitch, I'm single and alone too. You don't see me crying in my room."

"Ahhh Tommy, fuck you."

Tommy laughed

"You know I'm messing with you. I just hope you aren't feeling so lonely over a certain someone right?"

"James? Are you kidding? Come on," I said

"Hey, I know you Sammy. You don't just automatically lose feelings so fast. Especially over him."

"Tommy, why are you saying this? You know I barely talk about him. What would make you think I miss him? Of course I think about him everyday but it's always negative. Nothing like, "I wanna get back with him" or some shit. I just think about the past a lot, what else is there to do?"

"What else is there to do? Get out your room, talk to your mom, talk to me. I know it's hard, but I know you Sammy, you're fucking beautiful, the most sexiest baddest friend I have. You get niggas and you know that. Just know not to get attached to every nigga that comes your way. You always have to sense shit, you know what I mean?"

"Of course. Just waiting for a nigga to come up to me, or dm me at least. Well, a nigga I'd be interested in though. Not the ones that lives in Virginia or some shit. Strictly in New York."

"You know one day, I'm gonna be sitting at your wedding. Wait fuck that, imma be right next to you while y'all saying ya "I do's" and shit. And imma be smiling like "Yes! That's my bitch I told you!" Tommy laughed

"This is why I love you. You cheer me up. You make me feel less lonely."

"I'm your best friend, that's my job." Tommy said. "Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing and to come to my house Friday. We'll do some boy hunting if you really want to."

"Haha very funny. Okay I'll see you," I said and ended the call.

Tss, man do I hate being single.