The Bittersweet Addiction: Loyalty Before Royalty

The Bitter...

I can hear Cole crying and I just lay in bed a couple minutes longer hoping he stop, which he does so i roll over and look out my balcony window. All I can think about is Birdie and how he's doing, he hasn't called nor wrote me I'm beginning to worry about him I lay in bed and start to cry i know that it hasn't been long but two out of the six years have only passed and still no word from him.
"You okay Kenzo?" Benzo walks in and sits on my bed he hands me the mail, nothing but junk mail until I run into a letter addressed from Birdie.
"I'm fine thanks can you keep a eye on Cole for a while please?"
"Yeah I got you sure you good?"
Nodding my head he walks away opening the envelope the first thing i noticed is the date, noticing it was dated from a couple days ago i know this was real.

Kenzo

Wassup Ma you know I miss you, I'm sorry I haven't wrote you in two years but when I got locked down in here and begin to think like damn im bout to spend six years away my child and girl you haven't wrote me since the last time you told me your were pregnant i started to think a lot in here couldn't get you guys off my head but i coldnt to bring myself to talk to you knowing how much i love you but knowing i just pretty much killed your father didn't make me feel so good after all that i just had to keep my distance but no longer, and after two years of being without you i just couldn't stay away any longer i love you and thought about you and the baby a whole lot i dot want you thinking i forgot about you cause i didn't

love Birdie

I jump up from bed and i turn on the shower as i let the hot water run over my body remember the last time i felt his touch its been a long time and if i ever was to get him back any time soon id never let him go. After getting dress i go see Cole before i leave for work he looks so much like Birdie everytime i look at him i just miss him more and more,
"Kenzo we going to the zoo today ill take him to Lin house tonight she got her niece so ill take him and we'll be back tomorrow if that's coo with you."
"Yes thats fine just make sure you keep a eye out on him okay."
"Cool we'll see you tomorrow then." He gives me a kiss on the cheek and we all walk out the house.
Driving down the highway all i could think about is him, he hasnt talked to me in years and reading his letter put me on some type of edge.

Later that day...

    Standing in the mirror I look at myself,after having Cole I just couldn't get get my body back in shape I'm fit but not fit enough but hey it'll work for now. I pull my sweats up and walk towards the living room smooth music plays from the sound system and I sway in the moment of peace I'm feeling, Birdie will be home soon,our beautiful son will finally meet his father and he can take over the business I tried my hardest to keep up life was feeling good. Sipping my wine and hitting the splif I continue to get lost in the wave I remember the last time I seen Birdie he was getting taken away from me,it's still hard to believe he killed my father but honestly pesos deserved it.
      I miss him,he still seems to wonder into my mind every now and then I find myself thinking back to all the times we had in such short time and just couldn't help but to laugh at the memories. Looking at the moon shine off the lake it takes me back to our lake home in Duluth, cole was made and born there that will forever be our home. I can hear my phone going off thinking they'll stop calling and hang up but they just keep calling anyways,and of course it's Tillman my right hand we've known each other for a year been fuckin for about two months he's no Birdie but he's something.
I met Tillman while I was in Chicago and we just hit it off since then, he makes sure I get my payments and makes sure no one I love is touched including Birdie but he doesn't know that.
"Hey Tillman everything okay?" I can hear he's downtown just by the background
"Yea just checking up on you ya know wondering if you want some company for the night."
I roll my eyes and peep at the clock in three in the morning which means he wants a bootycall which isn't going to happen today I can smell the liquor and cheap lap dances through the phone.
"Actually I was just heading to bed love I'll catch you tomorrow for our meeting."
Tillman takes a long hard sigh and hangs up but that's always when he doesn't get his way. Throwing my phone on the couch I being to sway to the music playing feeling myself get lost with the best and third cup of wine I've had my life everything I've worked for is here because I put hard work in. I began crying because although Birdie started it I kept it afloat and I'm managing everything. I've did all this,went through so much to be left alone with our child this life isn't what it's been cracked up to be...not at all.
Losing my father and finding his real feelings after so many years has took a toll on me I wish he was here to see Cole but then again I prefer he isn't. Sitting in the floor i move back and forth wiping my own tears away,taking care of a child,an also running a million dollar a week business all on my own. What is life.? I finish the bottle of wine and began to strip out my clothes,I release my hair and swing my head feeling the base of the music flow through me.
I've made it,I'm safe right.? I close my eyes and dance around my living room the thirty thousand dollar rug flows through my toes. I can hear knocking on the door but I dance anyways leave me be is all my mood is right now. Banging now they bang so loudly it breaks my train of thought walking calmly I unlock the door to find Tillman.
"What.?" I crack my door he tends to get aggressive when he's overly drunk
"Bitch let me in right now you know I love you Kenzo."
"Tillman go home your drunk and the next time you call me a bitch." I cock my .38 snub nose and point it at him "I'll fuckin shot you."
I slam my door and walk towards the living room plopping down on the couch and then suddenly everything goes dark.