Broken Hope And Faded Scars

Part 1

Osomatsu

If someone asked me what my biggest regret was, Id say what happened when I was a kid is a bad one but what happened a week ago was a major regret.

Lost the people I cared about the most and before you ask not in that way, just that none of them talks to me anymore, so yeah thats just fantastic.

"So Osomatsu what will we be talking about today" I ended up staring at my psychiatrist for a while thinking of something: with a bit of enthusiasm in my voice I said to her "well I know I mentioned before that I wasnt planning on a job but a couple of days ago mum found me a job at the elementary school, so thats going to be a lot of fun."

My psychiatrist looked at me with curiosity "oh I see and how exactly do you plan on working with this, you obviously wont be home as often while doing this, has the school been informed of your situation at least?".

The situation being a week after I messed everything up with my family they became really worried for me that they took me to a doctor to check, so besides having anxiety from when I was a kid, along with myself diagnosed with depression, the only reason I got diagnosed with this was because I got into a habit of cutting myself and well I attempted to hang myself as well, that was a major shock for mum to find;

Looking at my psychiatrist I said with the most confidence I could muster "yeah they were, mum told them and they said it was absolutely fine just to not let the kids see my wrists". Yeah.. Scars dont disappear that easily, so I ended up having to wear long sleeves all the time.

As for my psychiatrist well shes actually pretty nice but she does stick to her job with at times can be annoying as fuck but Ill live, anyway as for her name well its Suzuki Kiyomi. Im lucky she lets me call her that and Ive seen her with others its not a pretty sight when they call her by her first name.

Kiyomi nodded her head in understanding smiling at me softly she asked me the dreaded question "attempted contact with your brothers yet?" I ending up putting my face in my hands and making the loudest groan ever, ughhh I swear you actually fucking hate me, "I assure you I dont 'cause I dont hear the amusement in your voice' hate you but you really should try".

Uneasiness fills me as I get up from my seat and walk around, knowing her eyes are following me "ah yes contact the brothers that hate my fucking guts such a lovely idea" the amount of venom in my voice scared me a bit, pretty sure Kiyomi flinched too, but its true I mean look how they left...should I disappear?.

Looking at the time Kiyomi gave an exasperated sigh "Osomatsu, if you tried maybe youll find that they dont hate you oh 'Im confident they do' so maybe at some point try, anyway giving the time I'd say this session is ending Ill see you for your next one".

"Of course you will" Im already walking to the door at this point and turning the door handle, anyway Ill see you next time waving behind me as I leave, closing the door in the process.

When I got outside the building I breathed a sigh of relief, I mean sure its great getting this stuff offmy chest but I hate it cant change that can I. As I continue walking I didnt notice that I was about to walk into someone and well I did and we both fell on our asses "Jesus fuck/oww ok that hurt.

As I got up at the same time the other person did, when I went to apologize I then realised who it was and boy was I fucked, "people really need to look where there" he looked at me "goin... Osomatsu".

Oh god I can feel the glare, putting on the best smile I can I look at him "Hey Choromatsu, "what are you doing here Osomatsu" well doesnt he sound cold as ever, why now?...; "what am I not allowed to go for a walk".

Yeah, my smile isnt gonna last much longer, I ended up looking around for an escape root, "I wasnt aware you knew anywhere past the pachinko parlour..." I havent been there since you guys left, havent even been drinking.

Smile starting to fade I look at him with clear annoyance this time, "I do know my way around the city Choromatsu and for your information I was busy" "which was?" wipe the smug look off your face... "Not pachinko or drinking" crap... I didnt mean to say it like that, I ended up clearing my throat.

Look I have to go home now so... Maybe some other time slowly starting to back away I noticed that he wants to say something but doesnt, I turn around and leave.

Choromatsu

"Ok...." muttering under my breathe, that wasnt weird or anything, wait a fucking minute he isnt leaving without answers, as I run through the crowd I notice the red hoodie hes wearing, OI OSOMATSU!! he stopped and turned to look at me, whats with that look, I slowly catch up to him.

As I caught up to him I heard him sigh wait what? What do you want now Choromatsu I look at him without answering him well.... instead of answering him I grab his arm and drag him to the nearest cafe, what the.. Oi, what the fuck!!

When we got to the door I glared at him which made him silent that was too easy..; when I get him over to a booth we both sat down and I look right at him. Osomatsu, were not leaving here till I get proper answers from you ....... I felt my eye twitch, great silent treatment, Osomatsu, say something please he looked at me, yess reaction.

Well what do you want me to say banging my head of the table, I replied well what you where doing here is a start well I was about to go shopping for mum before I met you did he really just lie again... Oh? What exactly were you getting for her and hes getting irritated the normal things like food you sure? Definitely well he isnt budging.

Ok changing this conversation, So Osomatsu hmm how have you been lately his eyes lit up a bit thats progress at least well I got a job wait seriously!!.