Not a saviour [destiel]

chapter 9

i'm not really sure how to write a chapter after an emotional seen so i hope you like this.

-squiggle180

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It had been a weak since Castiel had 'seen' Dean and Cas was starting to get deperate. He could never figure out if it was a prank, if he was going insane, or if he actually saw Dean. Deep down he couldn't help but hope that he actually saw Dean but what would happen then? How was it possible that Dean was back? How would Sam take it? What would Cas do then? These questions seemed to swarm through his mind and he felt a head ache coming on.

Sam climbed back intot the impala to see a tired ex angel slumped foward with his head resting against the dash board.

"You alright man?" Sam asked, worry clearly in his voice.

"Yes. I'm just tired." Cas replied, slumping back into his seat. He hadn't told San yet about the Dean thing. He didn't want to work up Sam or tell him about him crying. He didn't need Sam to know how pathetic he was.

Sam didn't say anything as he started the impala and drove off, leaving dust in their review mirror.

"So. We haven't really found any new cases in the past week. I'm not really sure what's going on. Maybe the monsters are just dying down?" Sam said, his eyes glued to the road in frustration and curiosity.

"I doubt that. They are most likely planning some kinda of big attack or something. it seems that they have started to join together." Cas rubbed his forehead, trying to coax the headache away.

"Yeah. Like the shape shifter joining with the jinn. That was weird. I had never seen anything like that."

"Yeah. I think they started to figure if they work together they can get more people or something. Either way it's bad. "

Sam nodded in agreement. It was getting pretty horrible with the monsters and everything. Sam thought that was why Cas wasn't sleeping and was stressed. Little did he know he wasn't even close to guessing the truth of it all.

"Have you talked to any hunters, see what that have to say in it?" Castiel asked.

"I talked to Garth and Bobby and they have the same thing to say on it though they have no idea why or how they even got the idea. They've never joined together before. Why are they starting now?" Sam asked, glancing over at Cas.

"I have no idea but something big is coming. I just don't know what."

Sighing the men were silent as the familiar purr of the engine filled the silence of the ride.

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Something big was coming. I could feel it in my gut but I couldn't figure it out. You figure being in a different perspective then before things would change but nope. It was still a pain in the ass to figure anything out.

Sighing I glanced at Cas who sat in the front of baby. God, how I wanted to help him. I wanted to help him so bad but I didn't know how. Seeing him crumpled on the floor the other day, lost in his pain. It broke my hearts to bits and I didn't know how to help. My poor little fallen angel.

I wanted to scream. To punch something. Because god did this to me. I could do that all I wanted but it wouldn't make a difference. The world wouldn't feel my frustrations at all and it drove me insane. I just wanted it all to end. And yet I knew deep in my liver the was rotting away by alcohol, or it would be if it wasn't ash's, that this would all end once your dead. Though, I would have to put my own question mark on that.