Can't Believe It

"Mourning Sun" Chapter 2

     A blare of ringing in my ear. I shut my annoying ass alarm off. I turn to my left and find my sleeping son. How the hell di- Oh, I remember, he had a nightmare. I caress his cheek softly. He twitches. I tickle him on his neck and he finally wakes up laughing and groaning. He wipes the sleep from his eyes. "Hey, mommy," he says in his sweet voice. "Good morning, baby boy," I kiss his forehead and sit up to get out of bed.
     "Come on bug! What do you want eat?" I ask while I pick him up. "Chicken and waffles!" I look at him weird. "Why though, out of the breakfast foods. Why chicken and waffles, my dude?" "Because they are gooood," he crosses his arms and rolls his eyes while replying in a sassy matter. You see what I am talking about flam-bo-yant.
     "Well chicken and waffles it is." I put him down and grab my phone.
I check to see if I have any messages and to my luck I have....two. Both from Judy.
     Hey, what are u doin today bih 9:30am
     Ummm, mscuse I asked you a question 10:23am
I laugh at my semi-crackhead friend. I reply to her.
     Nothing that I know of because it is Saturday 10:29am
I make my way downstairs and to find my son trying to grab a cookie from the top of the counter.
I cleared my throat and his head snapped around so fast I could have sworn he was part owl for a second.
     "Heeyyyy mommy," he tried to act innocent with his hands behind his back giving me big puppy eyes.
     I crossed my arms over my chest and arched my eyebrow. "Mmmhmm. I better not see a cookie in your hand." I said in deep voice. His eyes got big and shook his head, vigorously. He showed his hands and to my surprise he didn't have a cookie. "Okay, now come on help me cook." I put on some music and we danced and started getting everything out.
      I was frying the chicken when I heard a knock on the door. I looked at the clock to see it was almost 11. Huh, who could be here. I have totally forgot I haven't looked in the mirror at all since I have gotten up. I could be looking like Medusa's twin sister. Oh well, I look in the peep hole and see it's my peanut butter. I open the door and I catch her when she jumps on me for a hug. "Hey biiiih!" She yells in my ear. "Hey loud ass!" I say putting her down. "Looks like you haven't done shit today. Still in your damn boxers."
     You rolled your eyes, playfully. "I wasn't expecting company at least not now." Then I remembered, "SHIT!" I run to the kitchen and see Avery still stirring the waffle mix but the chicken....well the chicken has some minor set backs. It is burnt on one side. "Well, isn't that shit." I look at Judy. I try to hold in a chuckle but it turns into a whole laughing fit. "I seriously hate you. So, do you want  to join us for-" I look at the sad chicken,"breakfast of burnt chicken and over stirred waffles." I look at Avery and he is in his little world still stirring his little heart out.
     "Avery, bug, Judy is here. Say hey." He looks up after a century and sees Judy. A giant grin is planted on his face and runs straight to her. She picks him up and tickles him a little bit.
     I laugh at their interaction. It's amazing that I have a friend like her to be like a second mom to him. We shared some crazy experiences and I haven't regretted any of it. Well expect one.
*FLASHBACK*
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I scream. I slurred my words from the whiskey I have dosed. "This is not you! Taylor!" Judy is trying to reason with me. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM!" I am shaking. Blood is running down my hand from holding the blade so tight. I am rocking back and forth. Pacing fast. Holding my stomach feeling like I going to release all I have conceived. "Taylor, give that to me. Now." She holds out her hand. I'm shaking my head no. "You can't make ME!" Hot tears are running down my face. Judy is getting closer and closer to me. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" She keeps moving closer. She has tears streaming down her face, as well. "Please Taylor, I am begging and pleading."
      She leaps forward trying to get the blade. We wrestle over it. Now we both have blood dripping from our wrists. "Taylor, WE ARE BOTH HURTING OURSELVES OVER THIS! STOP!" I yank the blade away. Judy cries out in agony. She falls to her knees. I look at her and the cut looks so deep that it looks like bone is visible. I drop the blade. The room is spinning. She looks me straight in the eye. "This is what you do to me?" She said it so slow and low. It was dangerously low. I looked at myself and I had blood all over my clothes and hands. I couldn't even feel the cuts because of the adrenaline.
     I fall to my knees and crawl to her. I cry hysterically. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I say repeatedly. I look her in the eyes and say, "I need help, Judy. Please help me." She hugs me so tight. It was so genuine and safe. I hear her say that my dad is wrong and stupid for what he is doing. "I love you just the way you are. He is nothing to you. I love you, Taylor. I love you so fucking much." She says softly in my ear.
*END OF FLASHBACK
     I don't realize I'm crying until Judy brings me back to reality. "Hey, Tay. You okay?" I shake the memories. "I...I umm..just thinking about stuff." She had a look that said 'we are talking about this later'.  I gave her a nod. She still had Avery in her arms. "So, what do you want to do today?" I said laying my head on the island.
     She made a cute thinking face and if you ask, no I don't like her. We have just been through a lot and it's not weird for us to call each cute, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy. Now that I think about it, I see why people think we are a couple. It's not true, though.
     She finally came up to a conclusion of her wanting. "The mall?" She said. "It took you a century to just come up with that. Bravo." I clapped slowly, mocking her. She gave me a glare but couldn't hide the smile. I laughed and said that I was going to get ready after I get Avery ready. I take him from her and went in his room to get a cute outfit for him but it looked like he didn't accept my choice so he picked his clothes himself.
Avery's clothes...