Without Memories

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Business

The waves suddenly became calm as I stopped hearing them splashing into the shore. The wind also stopped howling that made trees halted from dancing.

Everything turned quiet and serene when I was enveloped by his warm embrace. Tumigil ang giyerang nagaganap sa loob ng isipan ko. There was sudden ceased fire. My disturbed heart also calmed down.

Asher didn't let go of me and rested his forehead on my shoulder. Tahimik lang kaming dalawa habang nakatanaw ako sa kalmadong dagat at siya naman ay pirmi pa rin ang yakap mula sa aking likuran. Hindi ako manhid para hindi maramdamang nasasaktan ko siya.

If only I can remember him and how I loved him, but I can't.

Gusto kong humingi ng tawad dahil hindi ko siya magawang maalala. Hindi ko magawang mahanap sa puso ko ang pagmamahal na mayroon ako para sa kanya. Gusto ko mang suklian ang pangangalagang ginagawa niya para sa akin pero hindi ko alam kung saan at paano ko sisimulan.

Tuwing tinitingnan ko naman ang mga litrato namin ay naiinggit ako habang nakikita ko ang dating ako na masaya sa piling niya. Gusto ko ring maramdaman ang kasiyahang 'yon. I wanted so much to love him back. But maybe, I shouldn't rush things. My memories had just reset. I still have less than six months to create new memories with him.

"Asher―"

Natigil ako nang humarap ako sa kanya at nakita ang kanyang kasalukuyang hitsura. His eyes were bloodshot as tears were streaming down on his cheeks. He looked so tired while staring at me.

"Hmm?" he hummed and forced to smile at me.

Parang may humaplos sa aking puso habang nakikita siyang nasasaktan at napapagod.

Dear old Shaula, is this how you feel everytime you see him hurt?

Slowly, I raised my hand and used my fingers to wipe his tears away from his face as gentle as I can.

His lips slightly parted because of my sudden affection to him. Mukhang hindi siya makapaniwala sa pinapakita kong apeksyon sa kanya.

Muli at unti-unting sumilay ang ngiti sa kanyang labi bago niya inabot ang aking kamay. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it as light as a feather.

"I'm perfectly fine now," he told me, and I can tell that his smile was filled with sincerity. "Thank you."

I bit my lower lip before looking away. Nanaig ulit ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa kaya napilitan akong magsalita.

"Gutom na ako," sabi ko na lang.

He chuckled and pressed my hand before letting go of it. "Hindi mo kasi naubos ang pagkain mo kanina," sabi niya. "I finished cooking your pancakes by the way. Iyon na muna ang kainin mo at ipagluluto kita ng nilaga para matikman mo."

Tumango na lamang ako.

"You go in first. I'll follow you," he said.

Hindi na ako nakipagtalo pa dahil alam kong mukhang wala na siyang balak na umalis sa tabi ko. I doubted if he will even let me sleep alone tonight. Paniguradong iniisip niyang maaari kong kuhanin ang buhay ko kapag aking naisipan.

Pinaghain niya ako ng pancakes at siya na mismo ang naglagay ng maple syrup para ang pagkain na lang ang atupagin kong gawin. Tahimik na lang akong kumain habang siya naman ay naging abala na sa pagluluto, ngunit bawat minuto siguro ay sinusulyapan niya ako upang makita ang aking ginagawa.

He didn't trust the thought of me being alone. If he was planning to chain me by his side, I can't blame him. It was my fault anyway. I scared him too much by trying to almost commit suicide.