Sitting on His Lap

Did I do that?

Eva Ann Rose

Okay, my thoughts are so scrambled right now. It's ridicoulous. I, for one, cannot believe I just gave him a blow job. I had always wanted to do that, but I for some reason refused to do it for Derek. I think my heart knew that Derek wasn't worthy of a blow job, and I've been with Ryder for about a month now.

At the moment we're walking home, our fingers interlaced between us swinging back and forth in a rythm,curtisy of Ryder. His childish antics shining through as the lazy grin sewed onto his face as he was skipping, fucking skipping, down the street. I giggle when he picks up my hand and twirls under my arm. My smile grows when we reach my building. We walk up the stairs, as I take out my key and unlock the door. Or actually, I lied, no I tried to unlock my door, but I was grabbed and pushed up against the wall. Ryder smiled at me. Grinding his erection on me, he leaned down and whispered in my ear,

"Babe, I think I love you."

I push him off me and give him a questioning smile, "Why? Because I sucked you off?" I asked, anger came through, though I tried not to show it. I didn't want a realationship based on sex and lust. Fuck, look at Romeo and Juliet it was all lust. Romeo was a guy who thought it was love, but in reality it was his massive boner that was leading him on.

Ryder must have seen through this act and back tracked his thoughts. "No, of course not. If that were the case I'd be like the modern version of Romeo and look at his dumb ass."

Well damn.

"No baby. If I did love you, it'd be because your brutally honest. You trust those who have earned it, and don't responde to those who don't deserve it. I'm proud to walk through this campus, and when people ask am I dating Eva, I fucking smile like hell and scream 'fuck yes I am!' I know you may not believe me, or you may not trust me enough to love me back but I might be falling for you and fallling hard." 

His smile was so bright, and his eyes shined like the gold in Spongebob. I didn't know what to think, what to say. I knew I was falling for him but I just wasn't sure how deep I was until now. As I looked up at him, I saw the joy and relief in his eyes, the pride that glowed behind them were rays of sunlight.

"Baby, are you okay? Can you say something? Anything?" his voice broke into the barrier of my htoughts. I looked up at him and smiled. "Baby?" he asked again. Running his fingers through my hair, moving it out of my face to see me clearly. "I don't expect you to love me back. I just want to know."

I latched to one hand of his, grabbing it and intertwining our fingers. I pulled him upstairs and into my room. He had a dazed look on his face, like he was confused. I threw him on the bed, crawling over him, heisitating over his hardened cock. I looked at his face and was shocked to see him shake his head, pulling me into his arms.

"I just want to lay here with you. I love you."

I've never been one for naps, ubt in his arms, I fell peacfully asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, I was awoken by the slamming of the front door and the chill of my empty bed. I look up and around, searching for Ryder but he's gone. I walk out and look around the house, Jett and Jake were sitting alone in the kitchen eating a bowl of ice cream. Jake was crying and talking to the seven year old as he looked broken and hurt. My youngest brother sat there with a blank expression, nodding and shaking his head every once and a while. As I approach them, I take notice they don't know that I'm there. I hear my brother crying. 

"What am I gonna do?" Jake cried to his younger sybling. "I love him, but I can't go back. She'll hate me forever. She'll through me back to them and that'll be it."