Is This Over?

Feelings

J,
I just want to tell you how I've been feeling. And I know you're gonna think that I always feel this way, and that I only see your flaws, but I don't see mine.

I feel like we haven't been a couple, I feel like instead of becoming closer, we're.. splitting up slowly and silently. Because neither you or me say anything.

Do you remember when you told me it only seemed like i had time for my sister? Well, now it seems like you only have time for everyone else.

You have time for Erik, your mom, you brother, and the kids. And then last it's me if I get lucky. We have not done anything together at all. And if we do it's because people tell you we should do it. Pero d q t nazca como t nace hacerlo x todos los demos, No.

You feel bad for Ale, because of how Tony is, you feel bad for your mom because of how Chuy is. But do you feel bad for me? Of course not because you always tell me and throw in my face that you figured out how to do things when I wasn't working. When me on the other hand worked my ass off when I was pregnant, to save money and help you when I wasn't working. And your mom knows that. But I guess only your mom feels bad for me.

You see how other women are, how they've changed, but when it comes to me you're just defensive and don't see anything.

To you I only see what you're doing wrong, but I think I've been changing again because...

I don't feel like you care anymore.

You care for your baby and your mother. But, I'm not that special.

Or am I?

I reread over and over the text I wrote down.

To send or not send...

But I had to get it off my chest. I had to feel better because all of this is killing me inside.

I sent it.

I had a knot in my throat. Wondering what he was going to say.