I will survive

The Start of the Madness

"Helen , Helen. Helen please wake up!" I hear my moms voice slowly come into my hearing. I peel my eyes open and adjust to the bright lights around me.

"Wh...where are we?" I question finding my voice.

"We're in the hospital honey." My mom whispers, scratchiness in her voice and dry tears down her face. Everything is still a little abstruse, but memory slowly
comes back; diagnoses, rushed to surgery, then...

"Oh good you're up," says a deep voice that I assume is the doctor, "I have news, good and bad." He wears a crisp white lab coat and glasses on the tip of his nose, typical doctor. "Your body is reacting well to the surgery, but your symptoms haven't changed." He studies his notes and jots something down looking intent.

"So... what does that mean?" My mind floods with horrible thoughts; am I ok, am I not?

"It means you have a month left." As if this is a normality he just keeps talking on. "But we will make it the most comfortable and perfect month of your life." He tries to add a smile to the end to make it sound better.

"I want to go home." I state to no one in particular. Dr. Hackett, I found out from his little name tag, looks taken aback but quickly covers it.

"Well Helen, in your stage of pancreatic cancer I can't let you do that."

"I want to go home." I say again. Careful to pronounce each syllabus this time.

"Len, I don't think that's a good idea."
My mom doesn't think Hel is a good nickname for her 'heavenly darling.'

"Fine," I try to calm my voice, "then can you bring me stuff from the house?" Thy exchange the silent adult conversation looks. And I just look between them awaiting a response.

"I guess I can drive home quickly. What would you want?" My look travels over to my mom, a grin spreading across my face.