The Search For Cinderella: Season 2 ✔︎

c h a p t e r 2 4

The next week flew by in a blur. Jasmine knew something was wrong when I came home after that unfortunate bonding breakfast with my step mother and step sister, but she didn't pry which I was thankful for. I think she told Jordan because she was lingering. I also noticed that everything sharp was taken out of my hotel room. Razors, safety pins, and even the blunt bread knives. I knew what she was thinking. That I would spiral back into my dark never ending dark tunnel. I was close to tipping, like a toddler standing on the edge of a well, barely balancing. My brain tried to rationalise me, stabilise me even. He's just a boy. At least you'll be able to go to college and find a new one, a new five even.

But my heart was screaming, yelling. All it wanted was Noah and his cute pet names and his sparkling eyes that glowed adoration even when I was a red sweaty mess from running or from the gym. We just clicked. It made sense. Everything about us made sense and now everything that was happening didn't. But I had to do it for him. He'd find a new girl that he can date, be proud of and show the world. One that wouldn't ruin his career, one that his dad could be proud of.

"Come on Tay, it's breakfast time," Jasmine's voice snapped me out of my brooding.

I looked up at her and her face was filled with pity, "Can you bring me some up again?" I asked quietly. She shook her head, "Marcus wants to make an announcement to all of the girls, I'm sorry Tay."

I haven't left my hotel room since breakfast after the talent show. The only other time I had left my room was for the eliminations that were broadcasted over the weekend. Anna knew as well something was wrong but managed to cover everything I was feeling up with makeup. It felt like I was in a trance the entire time getting ready for eliminations to actually being there. I couldn't look at him so soon. I knew if I did I would start crying live on national television. I sat quietly the entire time either looking at the stage lights or Marcus or the floor, anywhere but him. I was surprised I wasn't handed a rose. Especially since it was his choice who stayed and who went home until the Finale when America voted in the winner. I felt him walk past and his cologne invaded my senses as I felt his leg brush past mine. But I was never given a rose. Which meant that I was stuck with him for a little while longer.

It had hurt seeing Bianca and a few other girls flirt with him after the broadcast, especially when he didn't walk away. But I reminded myself that I had no right to feel that way, he wasn't mine anymore and it was all my fault.

Jasmine and Jordan had been sneaking breakfast up to me the past few days. I spent my days sleeping, reading or blogging. I went to the gym at midnight to avoid coming into contact with anyone. Anything to keep my mind off of him. I don't know if I could see him. Jasmine looked like she was ready to put up a fight so I picked my pathetic ass up and headed to the bathroom. I had a cold five-minute shower before braiding my hair down my back in two plaits. My face looked dead, it was pastier than usual with dark bags underneath my bloodshot eyes. I was a mess and the girl in me was questioning how I could let a boy affect me this much.

I dressed in a black off the shoulder top, black high waisted denim shorts belted around my waist and my black converses. My outfit choice mocked my sombre mood.

Eventually, I stepped out of the bathroom and followed Jasmine down to the cafeteria. I literally hid behind her petite body until we reached our familiar table with all of the girls.

Jordan who was next to me squeezed my hand comfortingly. She pretty much had guessed what could have put me in this kind of mood. My stepfamily, my dad or Noah. I wasn't hungry so just sipped at the juice that was already on the table. I let the conversation take place around me. God, I was pathetic. Sulking over a boy who I just met. Even though it felt like I had known him for years. I couldn't help it and I raised my head, my eyes scanning the cafeteria. I couldn't stop the gasp that escaped my lips when I met his eyes.

He looked tired and his hair was dishevelled. Or maybe my brain was tricking me into thinking that so that I would be comforted by the fact that he was unhappy as I was. Alicia was right, I'm such a goddamn selfish person. I ripped my eyes away from him and focussed on Destiny who was sitting across from me talking. I had to concentrate to keep my eyes at the table, the minute they lingered elsewhere I brought them back. Destiny was teasing Alana about something, but I wasn't paying much attention. Marcus stood up the front and made an announcement but it went straight through one ear and out the other. It made the girls clap though and cheer and I robotically followed through with the motions. I heard a loud giggle to the left of me and I saw Bianca wrapping her arm Noah as the cheering settled down. I watched as he looked down at her with a slight smirk on his face and amusement in his eyes. The same look he would give me when I did something he thought was funning or adorable as he said. My heart literally couldn't take this as it began pounding furiously. From jealousy, sadness and self-hatred. My nose began to sting and so did my eyes but I couldn't look away from them. My heart got stuck in my throat when Noah looked in my direction all of a sudden and all I could do was freeze, caught in the act of blatantly staring at him. What an embarrassment. He looked annoyed, angry even at me. Which was totally justified. He thought I was just leading him on.

I couldn't stop the trickle that fell down my cheek but thankfully everyone started to leave the cafeteria as Marcus had finished talking. I fled, not able to stop the tears. I ran in the opposite direction of everyone else, unsure of where I was heading. I wanted to be alone.

I had almost made it to the comfort of the beach when I felt a familiar hand wrap around mine.

I turned around but refused to look up at his face, instead I just stared at his chest.

"What the hell Taylor?!" He angrily asked, "You don't get to break up with me and then be sad about it!" His voice was rough but his hand on my cheek was gentle as he wiped away my tears.

I tried shrugging out of his hold, scared that someone would see. That's what got us into this mess in the first place. His hand just tightened on my arm and I was preparing myself to use some of those self-defence moves I used at the Talent Show. But I didn't want to hurt him, well anymore then I have before.

He leads me away and I stumble behind him. I still haven't been able to look up at his face. I knew all I would see is anger and hurt.

He walks into a tall building, probably another hotel, and into an elevator. It's dead silent in the elevator, not even crappy elevator music was playing. He had let go over my arm and I folded them over my chest to protect myself, to protect my heart, while I stared down at our shoes. He didn't say anything but I could feel his stare drilling into me.

The elevator stopped and this time I followed him out. We walked up one flight of stairs before he opened the door and I realised that we were on the rooftop again, just like our first date. My heart was hammering and I knew he wanted answers.

Finally, I looked up at him and all I could see was hurt in his eyes, but his face was angry.

"You don't get to break up with me and then be sad about it," he repeated exasperated. My hands were trembling from nerves. He deserved better. I wouldn't let myself ruin him.

I looked down at the ground unable to look at him but he slipped his hand around mine. His warmth calmed me.

His other hand cupped my cheek gently and I leaned into his warmth. I felt him brush away another tear.

"Talk to me Tay," he begged quietly.

Looking into his eyes and seeing the pain that lingered, the pain that I caused, hurt so bad. I threw my arms around his neck, unsure if he would push me away and held on tight. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist when I let out a small sob into his chest. He made me feel safe, secure and wanted; like he never wanted to let me go.

I pulled back after a few seconds and with my trembling hands I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him with the message from Alicia on the screen.

He looked at it for a solid few seconds before growling, "What the hell!"

QOTU: if you could do anything in the world without having to worry about money, what would you do?