31 Reasons Why

   One Word

    A word. Just think about it, it’s only a word. Sometimes it isn’t even the word you say, but how you say it that hurts. One word, can change someone’s entire life. It can make them happy or it can crush their entire world to tiny pieces. For me it was the latter. It was that one word they said, the one they kept repeating. No matter where I went, I couldn’t escape. It followed me, like a little kid that determined to get what they want. Worthless. If someone wanted to describe me in one word and describe the story of my life that’s what they would say. My “friends”, my family, even strangers, they all said it. It’s funny how vulnerable we all are. One word. Only one, can destroy us within seconds.

   All my life I’d heard that word.

“You’re worthless, you’ll never amount to anything.” My mom would say, for no particular reason. I would come home, show her my latest test and if it wasn’t an A+ or a 100, then it wasn’t good enough.

“You give this family a bad name you worthless child.” These were the ever so comforting words my grandmother sneered at me on the day I was released from rehab. It wasn’t because I was addicted to drugs or alcohol or anything along those lines. It was because I had tried to take my own life after things had become too much.

People at my school, I guess you could say it was the icing on the cake. They made it known they disliked me. All those stories about beautiful girls walking through the hallways where people would whisper things as they passed by or stare at them in disgust and yet these girls were perfect, and there was nothing wrong with them are all just lies. Those girls are always perfect, long flowing hair, thin sexy bodies, and a great fashion sense. They’re always smart and witty, and even though they’re poor they always have a new outfit and they always have a healthy glow and go out all the time. And there’s always a guy, who sees through all her “flaws” and loves her so much. He saves her from everything, stops her from committing suicide and takes her away. And she’s always okay. Never scarred for life, never has any more problems and just lives happily ever after. That isn’t real life. At least not in my case.

When I walk down the halls they bump past me saying things. The girls try and trip me, boys tug at my hair. They create rumors and rumors about me so that anyone new who comes to school knows to stay away from the worthless freak.

I’m not like the girls in the stories.

I’m not gorgeous, but I won’t sit here and complain that I’m the most hideous creature who ever walked the Earth. Although I’m pretty darn close. Lemme explain. I have wild, crazy, muddy brown hair that gets everywhere and is impossible to tame. I have plain brown eyes that are covered by thick, black, square glasses. I’m much chubbier than most girls, my jeans sometimes not fitting or my shirts end up being too tight. I’m average height so that’s not a problem and my skin tone is fairly tan. But my appearance, doesn’t bother me all that much.

So what does? Guess you’ll have to wait and see.

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So this is my new story. I wasn't really feeling my last story that much so I started this one and already have about 5 chapters written out. There will be 31 chapters and some will be short, some long. It just depends on what is being shared. Hope you enjoy. 

Comments and Feedback are always appreciated. :)