Well I guess I'll tell you about a few heartbreaks, because in all honesty i can't really remember many good things in my life. It's all clouded. I will tell you about my first true love with a tragic end, my illegal go to, my forever valentine, and how my life is still up in the air. My lifes been full of twists and turns, but hopefully things work out in the end.
My first love with a tragic end, well I'll tell you his name was Jared. He was the person I willingly lost my virginity to. He was my world but i was at a tough time in my life, i was being severly bullied. And even at 11 I can tell you it was true love, i will never forget him. He ended up killing himself because he was in so much pain because people were bulling me because they were saying he was fake. He was already depresssed and i knew this, i just wish i knew it was this bad. I miss him to this day and there will always be a place in my mind, heart, and soul for him. I lost him, physically, on December 24th.
My illegal go to was, well, it was stupid if i think back to it. I sold my body for money. Although i will never regret it because it helped shape me, it was tragic. I have recently told my best friend about this and she now throws it in my face every chance she gets. I have been so down on myself for not even knowing how many people i slept with, until i got so depressed i calculated it, i guess it was to put it in my face at how worthless i am. Im a 16 year old who has slept with about 400 people. Now this is one of the things that keeps me up at night, hateing myself.
My forever Valentine, Brandon. He was my best friend from childhood, who i lost to bullying over who he was. He gave up his life because he needed someone and i wanted to party when i knew i was the only one there. He was 13. He lost them , no he didnt lose them they gave up on him, because he was homosexual. And I loved him no matter what, but his other friends left, his parents gave up on him, and his parents kept is younger siblings away from him. Well theres two reasons he is my forever valentine is because every year(befor and after) he told me he was my valentine and that he took his life on Febuary 14th. So now every valentine there will always be B.J. written on my wrist for the love of my best friend i lost.
My life is still in the air because im in TFC 'thereputic foster care' because so many people have given up on me, including my own mother. Who is now out of my life, per my decision. Im trying to find a place i can go when my insurence wont pay anymore.
I hope everything works out for the rest of you. Love,AYCE<3
