Inside The Castle Walls

03 • The Lonely Stars

The sweet feel of life took over her shaken body. For she had lived.

She couldn't quite place her emotions. A complicated mix of sadness, anger, and — could it be? — relief.

Did she truly not want to die?

Did the mask of tragedy blind her to all of the reasons to live?

She didn't know if she wished that true or not. All that mattered was the fact that she was alive. She was breathing.

Exhaling.

Alive.

She wasn't broken into a million pieces at the bottom of a plummeting drop. Where she surely wouldn't be found for quite some time. At that point, she would probably be unrecognizable.

Only then did she realize that maybe her father didn't want her to join him just yet. He wanted her live.

But still, the burning question: how could she? She wanted death because of her agonizing life of tiptoeing over William and the kingdom, watching her every step. How could she just wipe those feelings away? How could she simply break the cage?

"My Queen," Percy started. Moriah cut him off.

"Please, call me Moriah." No one had ever called her by her first name. Only her mother, her father, and William. But Percy had saved her very life. The least she could do is allow him her name.

"Moriah, whatever made you want to end your life?" His voice seemed hesitant, but not distant. More of a soft tone that reminded her of freshly baked bread.

"There is much you do not know about my life, Percy."

She didn't know if she could trust him. What if she exposed herself to him and he went running to William? She doubted it since he did help her, but she knew she could never fully trust anyone. People always seemed to stab her in the back.

No mercy is ever shown. That was what she grew up learning. The hard way.

There was a long silence. One filled with the soft noises of the buzzing nature around them and the soft sniffling of Moriah. Though she wasn't crying anymore.

"Thank you." She told him, as low as the hum of a bee. He shook his head lightly, the faintest of movement from his hair corresponded weakly.

"It is my duty to protect you, Moriah." His voice matched her pitch and tone. Though, it had his obvious hint of masculinity. A deepness no woman could muster.

Despite allowing him the use of her name, it felt odd to hear it coming out of his lips. His voice gave a new meaning to it. One she knew she could've never unlocked had this night not occurred.

She sighed a shallow sigh, meekly trying to stand. Her knees locked and wobbled, nearly causing her to fall again. In a mere flicker of her eyelashes, Percy was standing, gripping onto her arms as she would've fallen. His fingers clenched slightly, bringing her upright. As her toes regained their standing she looked at him. Truly looked at him.

She had always heard the eyes were the window to the soul, but she felt as if in order to look into his soul, she had to unlock a vault. But first, she had to find the key. And in that moment, she felt determined to obtain it.

"Careful," was all he uttered. Softly, though demanding.

"I apologize again, kind sir. I know you must have other affairs more important that you must attend to," she merely took a deep breath,"your wife, perhaps? Children?"

Though he looked not a sunrise over twenty-three, with his looks he could've gotten himself a lovely woman years prior. Deep down the thought stung her for reasons she couldn't place.

"Nothing of the sort." He said, guiding her slowly back into civilization, away from the cliff that would've been her demise, her end.

"And why is that? I'm sure many women are tripping over themselves for you."

She knew she should've been embarrassed for her words, but something made her feel as though she could say what she wished. She was no longer confined to what William wanted her to say. She could yell and speak freely as she so desired. And she wasn't about to waste it.

He chuckled, lightly. "None seem.... genuine enough for me."

"Genuine?" She questioned, feeling puzzled at the word. William has only aided her kingdom and married her for her beauty, not for her personality. He hasn't even met her before their wedding day. And she knew all men were the same. Well, maybe not this one.

"I find that most of the women just want to marry rich and live the same lives. Lives full of jewelry and gowns. A life that would result in her getting tired and moving onto the next rich man," his face tightened,"I don't want that. I wish to have a true woman."

His words seemed to soak into her skin. She felt them. For she wanted a true man. Not a man who only looked at her as if she was a piece of meat.

"As do I. Most men only look at me. I wish for them see me."

He smiled slightly, a crooked smile. One she found perfect in the light of its flawed nature.

"Does King William see you?"

Once again, reality had snatched her with its deep coldness.

"No." Was all she said. The syllable slipping off her tongue neatly.

"Is.... is that why you felt as though you had no escape?"

"My condolences, but I do not wish to speak of William with you." The sentence had a tinge of bitterness, though it was overshadowed by fear.

The only certain thing was the mere fact that no matter what she did, William would abuse her. Mistreat her. Diminish her. And with that came the responsibility of keeping it inside. Caging it as it caged her.

"As you wish."

And as the stars twinkled and gleamed, Moriah felt safer than she had her entire life. There, with a stranger, she could feel herself spread her wings and fly away. Just for a moment. For one sweet, hopelessly everlasting moment.