Unexpected Development

Maternity Leave

Oh Nicholas there you are. I thought you would like to know that I won't be participating in the little matter with Barton next month."

Fury froze, staring at the man before him with a mix of stunned bewilderment and the beginnings of psychotic rage. Loki stared back, looking completely unfazed and more than a little entitled.

The Director of SHIELD closed his eye, took a deep breath, and pointedly reminded himself that throwing things around the room and cursing at the Avenger like an angry Marine Drill Sergeant was not fitting behavior when one was with subordinates. No matter how much smug, self-centered, to damn pretty for their own good alien princes might deserve it.

Since his first meeting with Loki, Fury had been dealing with such desires far more than he liked. From the moment Loki appeared in the middle of a SHIELD facility in an explosion of energy and an inordinate amount of leather, the trickster had done his damndest to throw Fury's world into chaos.

Frankly he still wasn't sure how exactly Loki went from being a hostile intruder in one of the most secure facilities on Earth to a member of the Avengers - though from what Coulson told him it had involved staggering amounts of alcohol and a mixture of classic rock and Lady GaGa, followed by a conversation with Stark that started as a debate about whether or not magic was really some form of science and devolved into a sob-fest about emotionally distant fathers and golden-boy elder brothers with whom one simply could not compete (no matter how hard one tried) and why can't you just love me for who I am dad/father?! - but it had happened. And now - for better or worse - Loki was a constant presence in Fury's life.

If Fury was being honest with himself, it wasn't all bad. Between the magic, his natural skills as a covert agent - which Natasha had been almost giddy to hone - and his genuinely amazing intellect - Stark had gone so far as to declare that he had a "brain-crush" on Loki - the trickster had quickly proved himself to be an invaluable member of the team. And that wasn't even getting into some of the more personal bonus Fury had been enjoying lately...

Anyway, things usually balanced out. Loki pulled pranks, then helped Stark develop five different ways to better utilize arc-reactor technology. He pulled his "I am a prince of Asgard so shut your mouth when standing before your better you pathetic mortal" shtick, then saved a dozen of SHIELD agents from being blown off the Earth by Dr. Doom. He made a general nuisance of himself, he made up for it, and things sorted themselves out.

Except for today. Today, Loki was being an enormous pain in Nick Fury's ass and was most decidedly not doing anything to make up for it.

Things had started that morning when Loki threw up all over Stark and his new - and very expensive - suit. According to witness statements Loki had looked surprised, then resigned, and had promptly teleported away from the shrieking billionaire - who had yet to stop bitching about it. Things had steadily gone downhill from that moment.

The day that followed was filled with Earth-shattering mood-swings, nigh unbelievable actions, and traumatized SHIELD agents. One notable example had occurred when Loki flung a man through several reinforced steel walls, and then transformed his pants into a very... "cuddly"... squid-monster. According to Coulson - who had dealt with that particular incident, something he was not happy about and for which Fury completely expected to pay dearly - Loki's sole reason for the altercation had been: "He was being annoying, now go away."

Things had gotten so bad that agents were reportedly hiding in broom-closets, under desks, and behind vending machines whenever they saw Loki heading their way. Possible theories for his behavior were running rampant. Some people were saying that Loki had finally had a psychotic break and relapsed to the state he was in when he first arrived. Others were entirely convinced that he was being mind-controlled by some evil alien overlord, who would use Loki in a plot for global domination. It had even been suggested that Loki was pregnancy - and yes thank you so for your input Barton why yes I'm being sarcastic now shut the hell up and get back to work!