By way of an intro: This flash fiction story is old, was published in the Philippine edition of Cosmo in 1998, and anthologized in Fast Food Fiction edited by Noelle de Jesus (Anvil). Someone posted it online without permission (but, no worries, you're forgiven!). I'm posting it here so it's officially free. However, I do hope you all (all 10 of my followers), check out my collection of short stories For Love and Kisses published by UST Publishing House.
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Nothing much is happening now. The meal is over. You look at me above the rim of your cup of coffee. Your eyes are crinkling into a smile. At least, they’re trying to.
What is it ? The restaurant is too noisy ? Too crowded ? Is the cofee too hot ?
You take a sip. The coffee’s hot and it burns your tongue. I see the impatience in the deliberate way you put down the cup. making sure the bottom rests perfectly on the saucer’s indention. Careful, lest your mouth spill the words I know you need to say but don’t want to. Dont worry. I see it. I see that you want to drink your coffee, call the waiter, pay and go. I am wishing it is the impatience of a man who cant wait to go to be with the woman he loves. I laugh at the thought.
"What’s so funny ?" you ask.
“Nothing” i say. It is not something you would care to hear anymore now that you’ve made up your mind. And I, the only one, you once said, who can make you move mountains, can’t seem to change it anymore.
I look at your hands, so big and strong, cradling a small cup of warm coffee. Your hands make me feel as warm as that cup when you lay them directly on my hips, on my chest, or on different parts of my body. But that seems like a long time ago when there was still much to say to each other and we were both sorry that the cofee had already gotten cold, and that we had to leave a noisy crowded restaurant.
"I will be leaving for Jakarta the day after tommorow," you say to the cup before looking at me.
“I may not be back for a while.”
I nod. Looking at the way you hesitate to my hand, resting so near yours, I know you’ve already gone. I will make it easy for both of us, I tell myself. I will forget the feel of your hands on my skin. I will smile and tell you that i am happy for you because that is what you want to hear, and that is what I want to believe. I will not hope you will be back soon nor say that I wish I were going with you. Instead, I will keep in mind that there is nothing between us anymore. Its just that the cofee is too warm and I am so cold.
