Happier A Christmas Love Story

Chapter 7 (Erica)

What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened. My brain screams at me as I run up the stairs to my room. I flop on my bed as I try to wrap my head around the fact that Jake and I got so close to each other like that, were we going to kiss? and more importantly is that what I wanted to happen? 

NO!

Maybe...

Definitely NOT. 

I had just come out of a relationship...the reaction I had...moving closer that was most likely my brain just thinking about revenge against HIM. Yeah, that's all it was. 

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and I pray that Jake doesn't come near my room to talk about what had happened in the living room just moments ago, and by the grace of God my prayers were answered when I heard his door close. I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding in. 

Carefully as to not alert Jake I open my door and tiptoe downstairs and out on the deck I bring the lighter to my cigarette and feel relaxed as I inhale. These past few days had been a roller coaster, from finding my fiance cheating to being in a double booked cabin, to being snowed into said cabin, to almost kissing a man I had only known 2 maybe 3 days. I pull out my phone to call my best friend he would know what to do with this situation. As I go to call him, my phone notifies me that I have no reception.

"Fuck that's fantastic, now I have to be a big girl and deal with this on my own." I let out a groan and finish my smoke. A battle inside my head ensues as to whether I should have another smoke or make my way back inside. After about 5 minutes of trying to decide I have another one. It's not like I am in a rush to go back inside the cabin and possibly alert Jake that I am awake, He might want to talk about what happened and I am not ready to go in and face what happened. As I sit there and smoke all I can think of is his kind eyes and warm smile. If only he was the one I had met in college, he is someone I could see a happy life with, he's just that kind of person. But now I don't think I am ready for another man in my life. 

I check my phone the time reads 3:30 am. 

"I should probably go to bed" I whisper to myself. Though inside I tell myself that if I were to go to bed I would just lay and stare at the ceiling. I throw on some music and just sit outside and think. If it wasn't for the heated deck I would be freezing my ass off right now. I sit back and close my eyes, as I rest my eyes I fall into a dream filled sleep. 

"JJ come back here, Mommy needs to put a new shirt on you before we go to the park" I yell while chasing after a 2-year-old running around.  

"Jake Junior. GET BACK HERE!" His young laughter fills the room as he runs right into my arms and hugs me in a spaghetti covered shirt, which in turn gets spaghetti all over mine. I look down at my young son and laugh. Picking him up and placing him on my hip I look into his little blue eyes. 

"How about you and Mommy go take a bath? Hmm?  Then we can come downstairs and watch your favourite movie"

"The Ginch"  He interrupts me. "Yes baby the Ginch" 

He nods his little head and we go to take a bath, afterwards during the movie he falls asleep in my arms and I carry him to his crib. As I am coming down the stairs my husband walks in the door and gives me a big kiss.

"Hey baby how was work."

"It was good but I am happy I am home now with my beautiful wife."

I jump awake, I was married to Jake! I had a kid with Jake! I have known this man 2 maybe 3 days why am I dreaming like this. I look at the clock and see that it is 6:40 am. After that dream, there is no way I am gonna be sleeping anymore right now. The best thing to do right now and about what happened last night would be to forget that it ever happened. I go back inside and start getting things out to make breakfast, pancakes, bacon and eggs. If I make breakfast for him and I it'll be like a thank you for the fact that he took care of me last night...then maybe we don't need to talk about what happened last night we can just forget that it happened.

As I am finishing breakfast Jake comes down the stairs and into the kitchen in nothing but plaid PJ pants with his hair all messy, and at that moment I knew. There was no way I could forget what happened.