Death of the Perfect Girl

33- The Unconscious Lover

"I used to tell Mason everything," Poppy stared at Fisher's fingers as she played with them. "I never told my parents...or my sister...or anyone else that I was depressed."

Fisher gazed at Poppy as she spoke.

"I grew up watching the news and seeing so much hurt. Countries being bombed and people being killed. I was scared that at any moment it might be me to go...or my family. During every commercial break there would be those little reports on missing kids. I grew up terrified and worried and hating the world. And church wasn't really enough. I knew God was there but I didn't know how to talk to Him and all He seemed to want was my parent's money. So, I developed depression around the age of nine. I hated the world and drew what I saw on tv. I drew people getting murdered and my family reacted as if I was a psychopath. So, I hated myself."

Poppy's hands began to shake.

"And then Mason befriended me in middle school. I told him everything about myself because he showed me the kindness I needed. And I knew that he was innocent back then. But as we grew older, he started getting tired of my complaining. He told me that I was overreacting and that I couldn't fix the world's problems so I shouldn't have to worry about them. Then Sadie came along and he just...left me."

Fisher furrowed his brows. "Are you still depressed?"

"I have my days. Today was one of those days."

Fisher shut his eyes. She was unhappy and he was making it worse by pretending to be interested in her. "Poppy, I have to tell you something-"

"Mason tried to hurt me."

Fisher's eyes shot open. "What do mean hurt you?"

"I don't think he wanted to. I don't even think he thought I meant stop when I said it. He thought I loved him back-"

"Poppy, what did he do?"

"He just kissed me," Poppy lied, noticing the look in Fisher's eyes. "That's it. I shouldn't have even brought it up. Charlotte told me I should tell you-"

"You told her before me?"

Poppy sighed. "I needed to talk to another girl."

"And not someone you could trust? Like your mother or father?...or me?"

Poppy let go of Fisher's hands. "I didn't need anyone. I don't need anyone's help. I just wanted someone to talk to. That's it. I knew that you would get upset so I didn't tell you. And I shouldn't have."

Fisher felt doleful. He really wanted her to trust him. He had begun to like her. "Poppy," he held her hands," I don't think that we're together because we're desperate."

"When were we ever?"

Fisher froze then he took a deep breath. "I really...really like you and I hate seeing you hurt. So...if you want to talk to anyone...I'm always here. Okay?"

Poppy looked down.

"Okay?" Fisher squeezed her hands.

She looked at him again, then she nodded. "Okay."

Fisher stared into her eyes then he leaned over to kiss her. He froze, brushing his nose against hers. Her heart thumped in her wrists and her eyes widened. Fisher gently pressed his lips against hers, shutting his eyes.

Poppy's eyes slowly shut, tears stinging them like needles. All she had wanted was to be close to someone again. To have someone care. Fisher never seemed to care much before. But he did now. The look in his eyes had changed.

Fisher's lip disconnected from hers as he sat back down on his chair.

Poppy's eyes opened and a tear ran down her nose. She quickly wiped it away.

Fisher's eyes stayed glued to her face. He sat listing the reasons why he liked her in his mind. It wasn't because she was depressed or needy. It was because she trusted him. He hardly ever trusted anyone and she trusted him. She liked him more than anyone else outside of his family ever did. She saw him differently from everyone else. She loved him and she didn't even know it.

He slowly stood.

Poppy's eyes traced him as he stood in front of her desk.

He held her hands and helped her stand.

"What are you doing?" Poppy nervously snickered feeling cold lightening fill her body from his stare.

His blue eyes danced around her face as he rested his warm hand on her cheek. His other arm wrapped around her back, pulling her body towards his.

Poppy felt her body begun to tremble from fear. Not that he would hurt her, but that she would lose herself with him. Her body pressed against his and her knees began to knock, the warmth of his body driving away the coldness in hers.

Fisher wiped away the trail the tear had left with his thumb then he leaned closer to her, his forehead resting on hers. He wanted to kiss her again but the knowledge that any day Sadie could take it away from him held him back. It broke his heart.

He was about to let Poppy go, when she put both hands on his cheeks and slammed her lips into his. He quickly wrapped both arms around her and squeezed her tightly, letting his hand rest against the back of her head so she couldn't pull away. Not yet. He couldn't lose the feeling just yet.

Poppy stopped kissing him and smiled staring at the look on his face.

His fingers ran through her hair as she stepped back.

"I have to...get to class," she wiped her bottom lip with her thumb.

Fisher nodded feeling a magnetic pull pushing him to move towards her again. "Yeah-uh... Me too."

"I'll see you at lunch.. You can maybe...walk me home later."

Fisher nodded again not being sure of what else to do.

Poppy stepped closer to him and kissed his cheek, then she walked out of the classroom.

Fisher let out a long sigh before walking over to the teacher's desk. He sat down on top of it, then he layed om back. He put his hands on his chest and stared at the ceiling. He smiled. He really...REALLY liked Poppy.