GIN,VODKA,WHISKY,WINE AND BEER and the rest its all i knew drinking that was my life my ambition my only real escape by the thunderclaps of the lie that had been filling my head. it soothed me like music my freeness only began when i absorbed it into my mouth it felt amazing i felt good about myself all the nasty comments the rude words were silenced by the pioson that entered my body. but when i was done the silence was done becoming drugged by my own lies was finished i was back to my normal position in life and thats where the begining on the the end begun.
Caroline my mother called me from downstairs breakfast is ready i got ready brought my bag with me and went downstairs. what was taking you so long my mother asked i was trying to find my perfume. boringly i sat down and ate i hated the fat food she fed me it made me feel so bad about my self like being size 8 wasnt enough. i had finished breakfast and got ready to leave when my annoying father blocked my away and said right straight after school you come home and babysit jordan and taylor but dad im supposed to be going to a party today thats enough he stopped me you are baby sitting you're siblings and thats final fijne and he handed me 10 dollars for my pay i snatched it off him and went to school.
My only real intrest in school was seeing my friends having fun talking about boys and shopping and other things i never used to have friends ,before i used to be the girl at the back of the classroom who got picked on teased and when you had to partner up with someone i would have no-one and so the teacher would put me with the nerdy kid who picked his nose but their was a slight diffrence between me and him he had friends but i didnt have anybody the worst thing was at pe their would be 2 captains and they chose the people they wanted and i was always the last one the one no-one wanted because i wasnt as sporty as the others i wasnt like the beautiful skinny girl instead i was the stain on the shirt. But when i went to 8th grade i promised myself that i would change that i would please people get skinnier have fun be wild and free and thats what i did i had 5 best friends megan,kelly lisa emily and amanda. i changed for them and they accepted me yeh i was a bit bigger but that didnt matter we were friends and they liked my company.
They always went out to party's but i could never come because it was always something with taylor and jordan or mom and dad but last week i snuck out i had the best time of my life it was nothing like an 8 year olds party with cake and cheesy pop music. No not at all this was a real high schoolk party where i actually interacted with everyone jocks cheerleaders freshman senoirs they were all there and i had fun. i tried not to be to wild so they woulnot know this was my first REAL party but i enjoyed it soon megan and amanda were becoming wild falling all over the place i couldnt understand had someone spiked their drink or something but i was wrong it was soon revealed by the drop of the smirnoff bottle they were kickked out of the party.i went with them just in case something went wrong. we all went to amanda's house to chill but all i could think about was were these girls crazy my mom always told me underage drinking could kill you in seconds tarnishing and destroying your lungs not these girls they were having the time of their lives and it seemed they couldnt stop.
I'd always see people drinking on tv getting high and sick over one drinking sin could over take their life just from that one sip i just stayed quiet while the other girls had fun mom and dad never brought alcohol to the house they said it was dangerous and could influence me so i never tryed it i was getting tierd and was about to leave when lisa called me over hey caroline where are you going come drink some its actually really cool you should try it my concience eargerly advised me not to while my body begged let me indure some just once.
so i did... an exstasy of waves came before me lashes of fire wind water filled my mouth the free flavour of the bitter poison made me explode seeing life flash before my eyes it was beautiful crazy mad stupid but it was beautiful.
