I Need You

She Knew

That moment when I look in your eyes and see hope, love and...sadness; you're hiding something but you don't want to say. I don't know why but I trust you, I guess I shouldn't always now that it's too late.

You see that girl above, that's me. I always loved the color black because she said it looked good on me. I'm talking about my best friend, Nicky. Nicky was the best and I loved her more than anything. We were like sisters, that's what they all said. We did everything thing together and shared everything together. She was always there for me when my parents rejected me again, she was an angel in disguise. I guess nothing lasts forever.

Nicky used to always tell me to treasure things I have cause I'd regret losing them. I never knew what she meant but she said I'd understand someday. We walked together in the night when she felt down. When I ask her about her family, she'd quickly try to change the subject. I never pushed it cause I knew she'd tell me when she was ready. In school, she was very popular while I was just some girl no one wanted. She'd drag me along with her everywhere she went trying to help me make friends.

There was this day when we were eating lunch and this guy came to sit with her and began to say really bad cliches. I snickered when he said a cheesy cliche and he glared at me. He stood up and began to yell at me throwing insults at me. Nicky lost it and punched him in the face. She beat him up badly till some students had to pull her off him before she killed him. She got detention and I felt guilty so I pranked a teacher and got detention. I remember how shocked she was when I sat beside her in detention after school. Instead of questioning me, she just smiled and we began to pass notes.

I remember when I was up all night cleaning up after a party my parents had while my brothers slept. I had a huge test the next day and I knew I was going to flunk it. When my teacher called me in, I lied to her that I forgot about it but she wasn't buying it. She called my parents and they said that I was just playing around and they didn't know about it. When I got home, I received the biggest beating of my life. My twin brothers had to beat my dad to get him off me while my mum watched crying. She tried to hug me but I pushed her away and ran out of the house. It was raining but I didn't care. There were cuts and bruises on my face and hands and the rain made them sting a lot. I got to the woods and fell under a tree where Nicky and I liked to hide. Nicky must've heard I flunked my test cause she began to call and text me like crazy. I tried to talk but I was too hurt to talk so I just cried.

After a few minutes, I heard people yelling for me and a very angry voice. I knew it was Now Nicky and my family. Nicky spotted me first and ran up to me. She cradled me in her arms and didn't let my family come near me. She stood up with me in her arms and yelled to my parents that I wasn't going anywhere with them. They knew it was no use arguing so they let her carry me home. Her parents were happy to let me live with them for as long as I wanted. Her mum who was a nurse cleaned my cuts while her dad called Child Protection Agents. Nicky just stayed with me through everything whispering encouraging words to me.

I lived with her for a year. Only my brothers were allowed to see me. My parents were arrested and since my brothers were both old enough to live alone both being eighteen, they lived in the house. I didn't want to go back since it held so much bad memories. Nicky would probably protest even if I agreed to it. Over the years, I noticed something. We were both turning eighteen in a few months and I was really excited. Nicky and I had been saving for our party since we met which was when we were five. I noticed that Nicky wasn't too excited about it and one day, I decided to ask her why.

I sat her down one day and asked her. She tried to drop it but I wasn't dropping it. She never told me what was bugging in her and I noticed something wrong. She was becoming pale and losing a lot of weight. Some days, I wouldn't see her cause her parents took her somewhere during school hours! I yelled at her to tell me but she wouldn't budge. I got mad and refused to talk to her till she told me. If she came to my room, I'd leave her. I never noticed her condition getting worse till that night. The night that everything changed in my life.

Her mum woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to get dressed that we were going somewhere. I decided to do as she said seeing the worry in her eyes. We drove to the hospital and I noticed Nicky wasn't in the car. My heart began to beat faster and I asked where Nicky was but her mum just reached to the back squeezing my hand. We got to the hospital and went straight to the emergency section. At that moment, nothing mattered more than knowing what was happening and where my Nicky was?

We got to a room as a doctor came out looking down as though he had lost a patient. He just looked up and said she has only a few hours to live. Her parents told me to wait outside for a while before going into the room leaving me standing out there in shock. I was so frustrated and angry. No one would give me answers so I stopped the doctor and asked him what was going on. He told me that Nicky had been suffering from a strange virus that was eating her internally. The symptoms wouldn't show till the virus had fully settled. Once it had, she has only till midnight to live. I looked at my time on my phone and saw it was just ten. We got here around eight. Her parents soon came out and gave me the sign to go in. I took in a feel breath as I stepped into the room.

Nicky wasn't in bed; she stood by the window looking outside. I walked up to her and we both looked out together. No words were said cause the silence spoke it all. She drew me close to her and kissed my forehead. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore so I let them fall. She took my hand and together, we ran to the cliff where we would sit to watch the stars. We talked about our lives like nothing was happening. She cradled me in her arms and I felt safe, I felt like I was a child again.

"I love you, you know right?" She whispered in my ears. I nodded. "I'm sorry Jayln. I'm sorry I won't grow with you, I'm sorry I never told you. You were so fragile Jayln. I always hurt you."

"You were my angel."

She kissed my cheek. "And I'll always be your angel." She knelt facing me with her head slightly tilted. "Do you love me Jayln?"

"More than anything Nicky." I whispered. "I don't want you to go! I want to go with you! It's not fair! You can't leave me like this Nicky! You...please..." I broke down and she cradled me in her arms again as I cried out my heart. I looked at the time and saw we only had like ten minutes. "We should go back."

"I want you to bury me hear." She whispered. I gasped. "Please Jay, do this for me, I beg of you." I nodded and I felt her smile. She pulled me back and pecked my lips. I blushed a bit. "I love you so much Jay."

"I love you too angel." She hugged me tightly and I held her. Even when I felt her go stiff, I held her tighter. I wouldn't cry anymore. I slowly looked up and saw that she had dropped a shovel and a stone. I slowly dropped her body and dug the brave. I buried her before putting the stone over her grave. I knelt before it looking at the sky. Only one thing crossed my mind at that moment.

She knew...She always did...