The Smartass and The Dumbass

The start of a dumbass tale

The Smartass' POV

"Here's you're coffee ma'am" The Starbucks lady said. "Thank you" I replied. I looked at the cup,'That fucking bitch' I thought 'She got my name misspelled again'. The cup said 'Vanusssu' instead of 'Vanessa', how could you get that wrong? And misspell it completely!?

And to be honest, it sounds like what a anime school girl would say 'Vanusssu!'.       But, I was well used to it, I come here everyday. I walked outside to go to one of those benches outside of the store. While I was trying to find a bench that had a trashcan next to it, being the lazy ass I was, that after I drank my coffee I could throw the cup in the trash that was right next to me. I finally found one, but before I sat down, I heard someone calling my name in the most annoyingly way possible.

"VANESSA!" the person yell- NOPE more like screamed.
"VANESSA" they screamed again.
I looked down towards the ground in a manner that said
'I don't fucking know you, please get the fuck away from me' even if I did know them, I do not want to deal with the King of Dumbass's right now.

"Vanessa, there you are" He said breathing heavily from running.
The person that yelled was my best friend, Matthew Park.

That Dumbass.

The Dumbass's POV

"Vanessa, there you are" I said panting with my hands on the street light pole to keep my self up. I looked up at her face, she looked pissed. "What?" I questioned. "Matthew, you don't just yell someones name in public" she answered. "Well they might think im your boyfriend from a different state finally meeting you" as I said the word boyfriend her whole body squirmed.

"Eww" she whispered. "Hey!" I said in defense "that hurt".
"Well, what is it that you wanted from me, you did yell my name for a reason right?" Vanessa said.
Oh, right I have to tell her.
"You may not like what you're going to hear..." I replied.

"What is it?" she growled at the end of her sentence, oh god.
I took a deep breath and said this
"IgotkickedoitofmyapartmentandineedtoliveeithyounowPLEASE!!!" I said it way to fast. Some people walking by us gave me a strange look.

"Wait... Can you repeat that but way slower" I nodded.
"I got kicked out of my apartment and i need to live with you now PLEASE!"
She looked dumbfounded...
"YOU WHAT" she yelled.
"I go-" "I know what you said but HOW?" she interrupted.

"Remember that party i invited you to got to but you did not come" I started, she nodded "Well, I might have been to loud with the music" she looked confused at first "And I maybe have dyed the pool red and broke the lights inside the apartment..." I finished.
Her eyes widened. "Holy shit, you fucked up real bad" she
finally said.

She threw her cup of coffee away, I probably didn't notice that she kept drinking it while I was taking about the 'indecent'.
"And you want me to let you live in my house, just when right after you threw a party with a bunch of drunk collage student and then broke everything" she said. "Yep" I retorted popping the 'p' at the end.
She sighed..."no"

A/N
Thank you for reading this all the way through, the other book I have is discontinued, I just did nit feel comfortable with it, so I started this funny comedy one, if there are any grammer mistakes please tell me so I can correct them, and thank you again for reading this all the way through
- Liquorice

*617 words*