Damned by love.

I tell this story for times ago, ages past and memories lost. Damned am I, and damned forever. Eternities of endless wandering I must suffer... and all because I, a hopeless girl, and a foolish boy fell in love...

I fiddled with my thumbs aimlessly, the crisp October breeze pricking at my arms. My blonde hair was gently blowing in the breeze like golden tendrils of flame, dancing with the setting sun. My smiling eyes were set on one thing, and one thing only... Shawn's front door. My stomach jumped when I witnessed the knob turning, the deep, violet door slowly creaking open. Gradually, in which every second was like an hour, my mouth turned up in a smile from the jitters of his arrival. His silhouette was jet black against the blinding light erupting from his home. The radiant glow from inside was electrifying against the fading sky, flowing through my veins like liquid gold. Shawn's tall and lanky stature was so distinct, an I could never forget. Footstep by footstep, I could hear him walking towards me. The uncontrollable happiness was slapped on my face by his presence, because he actually is the one thing that makes me happy. He is the only one in my hell of a life that makes me feel like I am loved, and deserve love for that matter... Suddenly I felt something warm around my waist, and I put my arms forward and up to find his shoulders. I could barely see through the dense twilight, but I could feel him there, and feel his touch. I could feel his radiating love, teasing my heart as I reflected my own love back into his chest. Above us, stars shining, the moonlight casting a gentle reflection on the two of us as the autumn wind sent chills down my spine... but that doesn't matter, because all I care about and feel is the warmth of myself wrapped in his arms, as our lips so gently touched...

After a few seconds, I suddenly felt his love... change. He pulled away from me, and then my grin faded to a frown. I could sense a feeling from him, his love turned bittersweet, as he radiated a guilt and sorrow. I knew then something was terribly wrong. I could feel his pain, and I could feel him suffering... "Walk with me," he spoke in an expressionless tone, lacing his fingers in between mine. I did, as he guided me along the sidewalks of our neighborhood. "Is something wrong?" I questioned, with a look of pure concern haunting my pale face. "Yeah, umm..." he said, coming to a halt and looking down at the ground. "I'm so sorry my love..."

"What is it?" I snapped frantically.

"It's just that..." I could feel the anguish settling in his warm heart. "I'm moving away, I'll be out in two weeks... I'm really, really sorry." He spoke words of misery... words that seemed dead to me. I froze, wondering if my heart was even still beating. I looked down at the black converse on my feet and began to question all this... 'Could this be true? It has to be a dream, and only a dream.' I thought with a hollow voice in my head. I tilted my face up to the sky, stars smiling down on me. They are lies, my life is a lie! If only I could fly, fly up there and capture one of those merciless suckers, wipe that stupid smile off their face, that they are happy and I am not. If only I could change the fabrics of our universe, change my fate, and change time... but only I just realized... I can't. I just can't do it... I pinched my arm, trying to wake myself from this nightmare, but soon I realize it's no use... And it was then the shock of Shawn's uncertain horizon was over, and I snapped back to reality, and into a deadly sorrow. I can't change this, and I can't run away from it. I could feel my chest caving in like a black hole, not letting any light escape. My eyes started to burn as my anguish settled in, my head on fire. I could barely even stand. Weak, I wondered if I had died. Hell bestowed upon me, knocking on the Devil's door. My eyes black, stomach getting queasy, and my emotions excruciating. I almost collapsed to the ground, dizzy and disoriented, but I knew I had to finish this, no matter how much I felt like curling up and dying right at his feet.

I didn't even cry right then, I stuffed down all my grief into behind my blue eyes, dead and useless now. I can't let him see me cry, he feels guilty enough already. I was worried he might die, and I don't want his life to be lost because of me. All I did was stare into the distance, with the sheet- white face of a lost soul. Haunted by some unknown horror, someone dead and gone, I just stood like a statue, only a hollow shell inside. "Are you okay?" He mumbled painfully after a long, drawn out silence. "Yes," I choked on my words, beyond lies. "Are you sure you're going to be alright my love?" He repeated, his voice melting into liquid sadness. He grabbed my other hand in his and gripped tightly, like a tourniquet. It was clear he was trying to hold on to the last bit of life we held together, but we both knew it wasn't working. I nodded, jaw half dropped, eyes empty...