Dear you
It started weirdly, a flippant comment here and there and the odd nod of acknowledgment. Next thing I know, I wouldn't be able to live without you.
At first I found a friend, someone to talk to but never too deeply. Someone to laugh with and someone to joke with. You'd give me endless smiles and make me laugh till I cry - you made me think I could never find a friend like you again. We'd message each other for hours on end talking about nothing and everything. You began to unravel and open up and thats when I saw it and I can all but pray you saw it too.
I began to feel like I couldn't live without you. Your face your skin made me feel so safe to be myself as you transformed into a type of safe haven- yet I was in denial. Others saw it before I had myself and as the possible sparks flew ,we both realised we were in too deep for anything to romantically happen.
Nothing could ever happen between us as to lose you as a friend I'm pretty sure would break me in two . You've kept me up when I was at my lowest, answered my calls for help at stupid o'clock at night , listened when no one else would and you would often say you loved me despite us both knowing that it's the type of love a boy has for his mother or a brother for his sister. There's no doubt I love you like my own family and I would never jeopardise that for the sake of love for you mean more to me than any relationship.
However, I often look back and ponder upon whether it would have been any different had I acted upon those early feelings- if only I had told you how I felt before our friendship tied the knot for us and decided against what could have been. All I hope is that you know I love you no matter which way you take it.
