not everything is rainbows.

31 // Scotts Chapter

:: THIS IS SCOTTS POV ::
I woke up by my own thoughts. When I looked down, I saw an angel laying on my lap, facing the TV. I run my hands through her hair as I realized.. I care too much. If she died today, I'd be crushed. I won't be able to live anymore. This beauty on my lap is too much for me to handle. She could do better anyway. I slowly got up and got a plan. I went to my room and I looked at everything she'd picked. I looked at her yellow floral comforter. I looked at the extra pillow on the bed that I used. I looked at her phone, laying face down. I look at her laptop and our dresser and everything. I looked out the window wall and saw the ocean. Today was rainy and gloomy.
I packed everything I needed in my bag as I called Pops. I sat on our bed as he picked up, "Scott?"
I groggily said, "Pops, I can't be here. Can I stay in your guest room for awhile?" Momma and Pops live in a little shack that was like five minutes down the beach walking.
He had hints of question in his voice as he said, "Yeah, whenever you need a home, here will welcome you. It'll be just like the good ol' days, am I right?" I nodded, remembering the times I shared with my mother in their living room with my sisters. At the time I didn't understand that we were running from Dad, but now I understand everything, at least I'm trying to.
I break from my memories and say, "Alright, I'm on my way." I hang up and walk to the door.
Rachel perked her head up as I left. She was beautiful.. so beautiful I even hesitated to leave. I shook the thought away. She rubbed her eyes, "Where you off too?"
I look at her and sigh, "Can we talk?" Brief worry flashes on her face as she nods. I exhale heavily and say, "Basically I don't want anything to do with you anymore."
When she visually looked like her world was saying goodbye, she wiped it off her face, trying to stay strong. She gritted her teeth as she said, "Why?" I want to explain that it's not her, that she's too perfect.
Instead I shrug and say, "I've gotta go. One day you'll understand."
I saw her lip start to quiver and she started shaking. She yells, "What the hell, Scott? After our night? What's wrong with us?" She threw herself on me and sobbed, yelling. I put two fingers on her shoulder, and push her away. I wanted to break her heart. I wanted to make her hate me. In her next fit of cussing and screaming, Alyssa comes out. She looks at me like I'm the biggest douche in the world. She runs to Rachel, sitting down by Rachel's limp body, curled on the floor, crying.
As Alyssa is yelling, "Get the fuck out and don't bother coming back!" I pull the door open slowly. I step out, and when I looked behind me to close the door, Alyssa was holding Rachel, who was sobbing something no one understood. I resist the strong urge to run and throw my whole body on them, and shower Rachel with love.
Instead, I close the door and fall against it while I cry. I stand up, gaining composure. I grab my bag as I here Rachel yelling more curses, and saying, "Why me?" My heart broke for her. I walked to Pops house as he walked out to go to the diner. He nodded and waved at me. I did the same. I laid in the bed, envisioning my life. I pictured it with Leslie. My thoughts were snapped when my phone rung. It was an old friend. He said, "Come with me to 2233 tonight." I grimaced, but eventually obliged.
I got up and put on a regular black outfit. I run a hand through my hair. This is the first time I've been here without Rachel in forever. I get in my car and drive to 2233. I call my friend, Rodney. He had black curly hair and olive skin. He had big hazel eyes and even though he was muscular, his cheeks were rounded. He's Sky's cousin. Alyssa said he was amazingly pretty but I think he's amazingly average. He is wearing an outfit identical to mine. I wore a maroon wristband though. It had everything people needed to know about me. Name, age, blood type, and Pop's phone number. It was a gift for my eighteenth birthday so when I go out clubbing, they know in case I overdose or get in an accident.
I do a handshake we made up in eighth grade with him and we walk into the club. Rodney had a girl rushing to his side. I offer a salute, that's the fastest I've seen someone get a hottie. I make my way to the dance floor and start doing things Momma wouldn't approve of. Eventually a girl turns to face me. She looks me in the eyes as we dance until she starts kissing me. I lead my hand to her waist and rub the small of her back. She tries to put her tongue in my mouth, and then I say, "Rachel, we need to wait." The girl pulls back in disgust as I realize what I've done. Oh god. I wave my hands, as if it's gonna erase the situation, "Sorry, I'm really sorry."
I walk out and Rodney must have seen me, because as soon as I step out, he puts his arm around my shoulders as I pull out a pack of Marlboro's, taking out one, offering another to him. He accepts it as puts it between his lips as I take out my lighter.
As it sparks, Rodney removes his arms and takes a drag. I inhale mine. Eventually the silence got broken, "I saw you freak out on that chick. What happened? You've always been the best with the ladies." At the last remark, he punches my shoulder and squiggles his eyebrows.
I inhale my cancer stick again, "Well, there's just another girl."
He nods, "What's her name?"
I place the cigarette between my teeth, talking words with less pronunciation, "Rachel. When we moved out of Momma and Pop's place, I went back with Dad, because I guess my older sister, Autumn, was the only reason to stay. Anyway, after awhile my sister, Lindsey killed herself, which made my mom leave me with dad. I left for no reason.." I choke on that part, but lying was easier than explaining, so I go on, "I met this hot chick. At first, when she got in the elevator I was like. 'Well even though her clothes look a little rough, she had a beautiful face.' So I wanted to see if her personality matched, and it did. So we started traveling after knowing each other for a few hours and then we saw Alyssa, who brought us back to the diner. Now I live with her and we share a room and we hang out all the time and I'm getting too close. Remember Leslie?"
He nodded, "Yeah, you loved her."
I nod, "She died.. and this morning I realized if Rachel died, another piece of me would die off with her." Rodney nodded.
He was really understanding, which I think made me stick around with him through his countless fights and endless stupidity.
He eventually spoke, "Is it love?"
I respond sighing, "It's more than like." He nodded, as if I didn't need to talk anymore.
After a box of cigarettes I go home, well I go to Pop's house. As I'm flipping through my phone, I see Rachel's picture of a cigarette. She must be sad too. I wish I didn't make her suffer. I wish I could love her.

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Quick Note ; This is my first story, I hope it's not or something, but so far I like it.

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