He's The Reason Why

Part 1

The rain was pouring down, hammering against the roof of the car. I'm not going to lie, it was awkward. Really awkward.

Karen glared out the windshield into the rain as I silently sat in the passenger seat. I fiddle with a piece of string from my tattered sweatshirt and bite my bottom lip. I sneak up a quick glance at Karen but turned my attention back to my string. I didn't like what I saw; all that was visible was anger and disappointment. I really fucked up this time.

My mind buzzed with a million ways of how I could apologize, but nothing sounded good enough. I open my mouth to speak. When nothing comes out I close it.

Why did it have to be this time? Why did I have to get caught this time? Why not any of the other times? Why not when it wasn't as bad? Why did it have to be the worst time?

I looked out the windshield and we're nearly home. I'd rather deal with Karen's yelling and lecture in the car before we get home. In the car, I know that I can escape, but inside; that's a prison.

I wrap the small string tightly around my finger, slowly watching it turn to a slade shade of purple.

Karen turns the left blinker on and we turn onto our street. Shit, I'm running out of time. I need to quit stalling.

I finally work up enough courage to say something, "Karen, I'm-"

Karen stops me short. "Don't. Just don't."

I look over at her again and her cheeks are streaked with tears. I really, really, fucked up this time.

Karen pulls into the driveway and cuts the engine. I stare at my hands and unwrap the string from my finger. It slowly changes shades from purple to red as it throbbed.

Neither of us moved. The only audible sounds were the rain pounding the car and Karen's soft sobs. I should say something, but what? I'm sorry I got caught? I'm sorry I got arrested, again? I'm sorry I'm such a horrible foster kid and you should throw me back like everyone else did? The last thought made me wince.

I took a deep breath in, ready to speak when Karen beats me to the punch.

"Do you want to tell me what happened tonight? Or am I going to have to wait and read it in the Sunday paper like last time?" That stung; a lot.

"I'm so sorry Karen...:" I croaked out.

She pursed her lips and nodded, still staring forward, "I'll take that as a no then."

I turn my body to watch her face, "Please, you have to understand-!"

Karen laughed but there was no humor to it, "'Understand'? What is there to understand Ruby?"

"Rue." I mechanically corrected her, she glares at me. Shit, probably not a good time to correct her right now.

"Fine, what is there to understand Rue?" She spat out my nickname and I flinched.

"Everything! Especially the fact that I didn't do anything this time! It wasn't my fault. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like last time." It really wasn't my fault either, that part was true; the rest, not so much.

Karen knew that. She looked over at me, her blue eyes piercing."So what you're telling me is that you didn't do anything? Anything at all?"

I hesitated and Karen raised her eyebrow, "Well?" I didn't respond; I couldn't. "That's what I thought."

Karen looked back out the window and I back at my hands. Silence hung in the air and neither of us filled it. We both wanted this to end. We wanted all of it to end.