February 1977
Dear Julian,
Since Sean was born, I've realised that I am what you say. I am a shit father to you. I want to try to explain why.
When I was married to your mum, I let my own life and Beatles career get in the way of learning about who you were and what was special to you. I look at Sean now and realise that whilst I know simple things about him, like his favourite toy or best film, with you, I could never say that. (I bet Paul could which makes me even sadder.)
In the last school photo your mum sent, you look so grown up, which I suppose you now are. You look like I did at the same age. I hated my father then too. He pissed off when I was young, probably the same age you were when I left your mum. I was dumped by my mother too and left with a relation who brought me up. It left me scared to love and be loved. It's no excuse but I cocked up. I let my past hurt prevent me from building a good future for you and I. I'm doing that now, with Sean which I why I now really understand why you say you hate me. I know I deserve that Julian.
Julian, I know it's probably too late, but I'm so sorry for failing you and your mother. Cyn was my first true love. I trusted and adored her and then we had you. I was too young, too stupid and too selfish to be a parent. Both before and after the split, your mum did EVERYTHING to try to give us a chance of a relationship. But I fucked up. Even when I was around, you preferred Paul to me. Then when I knew how close you still were to Paul, it was too much.
I am so incredibly grateful that you had your mum to give you the love and stability I failed to do. I know one day I will tell her so. But to you, I'm sorry.
I've stayed in touch with your mum so I know what things have been going on in your life. I'd love the opportunity to get to know you first hand, if you'd let me. Cyn has said you can come here in the summer if you want to. We'd be in New York and it would be mostly just you, me and Sean. I do all the baby stuff whilst Yoko works. You could get to know your brother too. If you don't want to do that, then I do understand. Your mum gave me too many chances when you were younger and I stuffed up
I am genuinely sorry Julian for being the type of father I never wanted to be. I never wanted you to suffer the way I did.
Love Dad (John)
I'm sorry, I really don't know how to end this or sign off.
6th August 1977
Hi Mum and John,
The post card shows a picture of the Empire State Building. Me and dad climbed to the top of it today. Dad's so unfit though! He cheated and used the lift after a bit!
Sean's a nice kid. I quite like playing with him. He loves toy cars and I've been showing him how a guitar works. He broke two strings on dad's favourite guitar yesterday! It still feels funny to think I've got a brother but I like it.
Love Julian.
20th August 1977.
Hi,
Me and dad went to a recording studio today. We've been writing and singing a song together. We've recorded it today. Dad says it'll be made into a record and I'll send you a copy. It was great just being with him on my own Mum.
Love Julian
September 1977
Hi Dad,
I'm sat in my room playing our record over and over again. I go back to school tomorrow - worst luck! Back to maths exams and school dinners! Still it'll be good to see al my friends again.
How's Sean doing now? Hope he's got over the chicken pox. It's a shame I didn't catch them off him. I would have been able to stay with you even longer as they wouldn't have let me fly home with them!
Thanks for the amazing summer. I loved being with you and Sean. I'm glad I've got a brother. He's a good kid! I'm glad I've got my dad again.
Say hi to Yoko.
Take care dad
Julian xxx
December 1977
Hi mum and John,
Merry Christmas. Hope it's a good one. See you in the New Year mum.
It's absolutely freezing here. The snow is so deep. Dad and I took Sean into the park over the road and we built him a snowman! He loved it!
Love you loads.
Julian.
xxx
April 1978
(Traced over an adults writing with a wobbly young child's hand.)
Happy Birthday Julian.
You're the best big brother.
Love from Sean x
(Written in an adult's hand)
Happy Birthday Son.
Enjoy the day.
(Remember the amp has a volume control or you'll drive you're mum mad! I used to do the same with Mimi.)
Love Dad xxx
Happy Birthday
Yoko.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Daddy...The Completed Story.
FanficFive year Julian Lennon writes a letter to his Daddy..... What unfolds over time gives a remarkable insight in to the turmoil, heartache and eventually the good times that the actions of his father give him. (Although this is all fiction, many of th...
