escapism || lotf 👒

escapism.

es • cap • ism
noun
the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.

trigger warnings - highly implied rape, abuse, ptsd, strong language, alcohol consumption, and possible drug abuse

             ralph forrester is a twenty - two year old dead-beat socialite. his girlfriend, mallie wilson, is also his psychiatrist. ralph always felt as if he is the victim, but of course, mallie helps him with those situations. the form of ptsd ralph suffers from is quite complicated, well, in mallie's terms. ralph has night terrors often, reenacting the horrors that went down from the island, or jack merridew murdering him. or even jack doing much worse. mallie sometimes has to sleep in another room when ralph thrashes around too much, or screams. he tries to forget piggy and simon, but their ghost - like presence haunts ralph everyday. he always wanted to apologize to simon's parents and piggy's auntie, but it turns out they all died in the london bombing. ralph always took the blame for their deaths, even though roger was the one to go to jail for piggy's. ralph took shelter in bars on thursday nights, the days where mallie had to work extra hours. he could relax, and laugh with his best friend, martin, who was the bartender. but tonight, though, seems unsafe for ralph. and he has no idea why.
            ralph took small sips of his watered down scotch, burning his throat. ralph somewhat enjoyed the sensation, for it reminded him of the pain of dehydration. the bar was getting quite quiet, since most are starting to leave during the closing hour, but the faint sound of marilyn monroe's voice on the radio was always there. his security in the pub diminished, as he felt as if someone was watching him. a tapping lingered from the table behind him, but he decided not to turn around in fear, and just talk to martin innocently. martin was talking about his wife and kids, and eventually left to the back to show ralph a picture.
            loud footsteps made the floorboards of the bar creak, as the mystery man approaches forrester from behind. ralph has an internal panic attack, as the creaks get louder and louder. he felt a presence directly behind him, and ralph's sweat ran cold. as soon as the man started breathing on the side ralph's neck, ralph gave a high pitched scream. the scotch spilled all over the bar counter, making ralph jump. he heard the familiar voice of the mystery man, whisper into ralph's ear,
            "ralph forrester."
             the man backed away, letting ralph slowly turn around to see the man's face. the man had red hair, god-awful freckles, green eyes, and is quite tall. quite unattractive, too. ralph went wide-eyed, as the flash of memories from the island rush back to him. it was him.
            "jack merridew."
             ralph did everything he could to hold back tears when jack just chuckled. ralph bit his lip, trying not to yell at jack. jack looks at ralph blankly, studying his facial structure. still fair, still beautiful. hair is still silky soft, with the beautiful golden tint. the golden boy. ralph gulped, as jack started to touch forrester's face, whispering incoherent words, possibly threats. ralph eventually slapped merridew's hand away. jack simply laughed.
"you really did think i would go away, didn't you?"
"y-yes. yes i did. i'm sorry."
jack spat on him harshly, before chuckling once more. jack took out a cigarette, and lit it, starting to smoke. he blew some smoke in ralph's face.
"miss me, sweetheart?"
"i have night terrors about you every night."
"oh, so you dream about me?"
jack gave ralph a mocking tone, staring at ralph's watering eyes. he took advantage of this, putting the end of his burning cigarette on ralph's shoulder, which made ralph sob out in pain. ralph pushed jack away, grabbing some unfinished cold water from the counter, and pouring it on his shoulder. it only relieved the pain just a bit, but ralph was still moaning in pain.
"pathetic."
ralph's warm tears ran down at the words, reminding him of the savagery of the island. jack rested his hands, and slightly pushed down, on the ends on ralph's shaking thighs. ralph looked down in shame, as he states, quietly,
"why are you like this? why didn't you go to jail? why are you here?"
"i was innocent. technically, i didn't kill anyone."
"simon."
"simon was murdered by everyone."
"why did i go to jail for six months but you didn't get anything?"
"because you're the scapegoat."
ralph shuttered at jack's words, before jack groped his ralph's hand, removing ralph from the barstool. ralph was confused and dazed due to the alcohol, and didn't question jack. martin came out right when jack and ralph left the building, and was confused by ralph's dispresence. martin sighed, putting down the picture of his fraternal twin son and daughter, and closed down shop since ralph and the mystery man were his last customers.
            jack's grip on ralph was strong, leading ralph to believe jack was trying to force ralph to go somewhere, despite ralph's absense of the desire of fighting back. even if ralph was sober, he would still let his abuser take him wherever, considering if ralph struggled, he would have no idea how much pain merridew would inflict on forrester.
           the pair walked for around a mile before merridew made it to his destination, the calafornian beach. ralph bit his lip, looking at the temporarily abandoned vacaction spot. no one is allowed to be on the beach this late, for the sea animals come close to shore. ralph bit his lip nervously, looking down at his feet when jack forced him to sit down by the water. jack sat next to him, and watched the water hit the land, over again. tide came in, allowing sea creatures to get closer to shore.
ralph missed the old jack. the c - sharp choir boy. the boy that always wanted attention, wanted to be approved. the popular boy. ralph knew jack was never coming back, and all that was left was an inhumane savage trying to fit back in with human society. ralph hated jack, but yet, was still in love with his former self. ralph would do anything to get the real jack back, but he's dead.
"how's sam and eric?"
"i don't know. i don't talk to them."
"that's a shame. i kinda wanted to know, considering i tortured them with roger in the island."
"all i know is that they're on their last year of high school. they turned 18 a month ago, i believe. heard a rumor that they have depression and ptsd. anxiety too, i think, but that might be just sam."
"ah."
"speaking of roger, is he out of jail?"
"yeah. heard he's kinda on the run. people say he kidnapped percival, since perci went missing."
"that's a shame. he's only fourteen."
"yeah."
ralph had no idea percival went missing, and started to feel terrible for him. he's only a high school freshman. suddenly, ralph felt a tension at his side, before realizing it was just jack scooting a bit closer. merridew turned to look at ralph, smirked, and asked,
"ever done sodomy before?"
"what the fuck? hell no. i'm straight."
"so is pasta, till you get it wet."
"fuck off. this isn't funny. you tried to kill me ten years ago."
"that was ten years ago. come on, i know you want it."
"stop."
ralph tried to push jack away, only to have merridew push him down into the sand. ralph's hair got flooded with sand particles, making it very uncomfortable for ralph. jack pinned ralph's shoulders down, and got on top of him. ralph, in shock, asked quietly,
         "what are you doing?"
         "freeing the beast."
ralph felt a melting pot of emotions, as jack continued his assault on ralph. it was almost horrifying when ralph felt his clothing be stripped from him, and a throbbing sensation in his core. ralph felt sick, letting out cries in pain, yet moans at the same time. he started to cry and sob, trying to tell his abuser to stop. ralph's mouth was forced shut by jack's lips, making it difficult for ralph to breathe. sessions and sessions of this torture ensued, everytime ending with a hot, sticky mess on ralph's face. he hated it, but had no room to run away due to how sore he was the whole time. ralph closed his eyes, falling uncouncious, as what his body allows him to do to help him cope.
forrester woke in the early morning, around 5AM, and was still on the beach. water splashed on the left end of his body, giving a cold yet welcoming embrace. ralph didn't dare to move, though knowing that merridew was long gone. the boy's clothes were stolen, leaving him bare. ralph stared into the sunrise, weeping for the loss of innocence.