𝘱𝘴, 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 » 𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 (𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘥)

chapter thirty five

Zayn

I sat hidden by a group of rocks where the ocean met the land. The sun was slowly starting to set and the chirping birds were starting to die down a little which left the wind and the sounds of the waves hitting the sand to be heard. In the far distance the city traffic and ambience could also be heard if you listened close enough. Though I hadn't been really paying attention to that, I had mostly been wrapped up in my thoughts about how things were as of now. They were much different from how they were a few months ago and for the past a few years.

It was calmer, more tasteful. It wasn't like how it was before. I didn't dread what the next day would become, or fear what I would do next. I had a clear head and I was able to control my actions and make desirable decisions. It felt good and I didn't want to go back. All I had to do was stay hidden, and keep my guard up. I had to be careful because any wrong move and he'd easily find me. I had to make him believe I was still dead, or in this case 'lost'. Whether he believed I was dead or not, he'd still be searching for me. I had to stay in the shadows or hidden in plain sight.

I couldn't let it slip that I was around anymore.

I looked up from previously staring at the sand, and saw the Elite tower still standing high in the distance. Looking at it brought back so many memories, the good ones and the bad. Mostly the good. I had remembered how life had been so much more easy and enjoyable. So happy and content. All the good times and memories that were made there. The more I had thought about it, the more it begin to hurt and create this heavy feeling in my chest. My happiness had been stripped away from me and my life was torn apart. Nothing would ever be the same and that was a hard pill to swallow.

I lost my whole life. I lost my family, my friends, the love of my life. All in just one day. I couldn't get it back..

I let out a shaky sigh, looking away and back down closing my eyes. Harry. I had been thinking about him a lot, more than I should be. Even though the shit storm had ended, he was willing to talk to me, give me some sort of company. And if I'm honest with myself, his company was more than anything I could ever ask for. I had no clue whether he'd fully forgiven me for anything I did, but just having him come talk to me from time to time made things so much more better. I didn't feel so alone then. Just seeing his face for a day could help me sleep at night.

I hated that I still felt so strongly for him. He had clearly moved on and it was clear that he and I would never be what we were before. Everything was just too messed up and complicated. And it's not like I can just blatantly ask for my spot back as his boyfriend. I couldn't add that kind of pressure on him, he's probably just as confused and stressed as I am. I wouldn't want to add more issues and conflict to it. Plus he seems to be happy with Liam... The same Liam who tried to kill me. That makes it even worse. He clearly doesn't want me around at all and wanted to get rid of me for good. I wonder if he even told Harry, but by the way Harry reacted to seeing me I don't think he did.

My fingers twitch slightly at the thought just as I hear footsteps approaching me from behind. I slowly lift my head tilting it slightly to the side as I watch Harry sit down on the sand next to me, putting space in between us so that it wouldn't be uncomfortable. I resist the urge to smile at his presence and just stare at him instead. He looks at me and I can briefly see his mouth twitch as if he were struggling to hold back a smile as well. Before I could open my mouth to greet him, he speaks first.

"Why did you choose to meet here?" He asks softly. I shrug slightly, keeping my eyes focused on him.

"New scenery." I replied simply. The sun set was beautiful and the sounds of the ocean were calming. Better than being in a park filled with screaming children and the hot summer sun blazing down on us. It was also a little more private and meaningful, just how I wanted the little time I got to spend with him. I couldn't seem to take my eyes off him. His exposed skin looked so soft and touchable, and looked to be glowing as the sky slowly darkened. His eyes weren't as bright as they were in the sun but still appeared to be gleaming and remain just as gorgeous. The way his loose hair blew in the wind was like slow motion and I couldn't turn away from the mesmerizing sight as I should.