Gonna Be the Death of Me (adopted by Brendon Urie)

//twenty five - wasted and thinking//

Song of the Chapter: Hold on 'til May, Pierce the Veil

*trigger warning*

It's been a week since the last US tour date and since Alex and Eva ended up in the hospital. The surgeries went well and everyone left the hospital late the day afterwards. Brendon pushed back the tour in Europe for another two weeks so Eva could still go. He also was much more on top of Eva and all of her relapses. She was barely let out of his sight anymore and it was starting to wear on the young girl. 

"Dad, please just let me be alone for awhile, okay?" she shouted from the top of the steps as she walked the rest of the way to her room and left Brendon at the bottom. Eva closed the door quickly behind her and slid down the wood, thoughts immediately flooding her head. She still felt guilty after Alex and her were shot. She should have protected him more. Plus, when she went into the hospital it became clear how little she was eating and now there was no avoiding it. So many things went wrong in one night and Eva could barely stand seeing any of the bands or her friends. She's only seen Theo once this week, talked to Alex over the phone a couple times only out of her guilt, and heard Gerard's voice from the front door when she had somehow escaped Brendon's company and went to her room a day or two ago. It was piling up on her. 

Eva stood up from the floor and went to her small bathroom, pulling out a half-empty bottle of vodka that she got from some party and snuck up to her room that week. She sipped from it a few times then brushed her teeth and looked in the mirror. Her weight was gaining back slowly to someone else, but far too fast for Eva. Her scars had moved from her arms to her thighs and stomach. There were only a few from really bad nights, but it was going to kill everyone if, and ultimately when, they found out. 

As her hatred for the mirror grew and the alcohol slowly hit her, Eva angrily slammed her fist on the marble counter and walked back out to her room, laying on the floor and staring up at the ceiling. Guilt was growing. She was self-destructing and she knew people cared deeply for her and she had a family that loved her to death, but people don't always realize that those things aren't always enough to save anyone. A knock and eruption of barks at the front door from Penny and Bogart stirred her from her thoughts. She heard Gerard again, followed by a few other voices she knew but only through music. Eva went back to her bathroom and closed the door, sipping at the vodka slowly and spinning a blade between her fingers. It made her feel like she had control when really, she has no logical choice in any of this. Eva didn't want this, but it was happening. Those voices she's never met personally were getting closer and now knocking on her closed door. She stashed the symbols of defeat half-heartedly  and walked over to the door. 

She opened it just the slightest bit and was met by the faces of Pierce the Veil. Eva was slightly shocked, leaving her at the door trying to stutter out a hello without looking ridiculous or tipsy. Vic smiled at the teenager. "Hey, I'm Vic, and that's Tony, Mike, and Jaime. We've been dying to meet you." Eva smiled at that, but let it fall when she was realizing that these were more people to let down eventually. "Hey, I'm Eva. Everyone calls me E though." She scanned all of their faces. Mike was staring at her slightly exposed wrists from her ruffled sweatshirt and then his eyes wandered down to the small, fresh marks on her thighs that were barely poking out from her shorts. Vic did the same before smelling the alcohol on her breath and examining her face. Tony and Jaime looked worried, but more for Eva in general after everything. They were oblivious to anything currently being wrong. 

Downstairs, someone yelled for Tony and Jaime. It sounds like Gerard to Eva. She missed him more than anyone. Mike and Vic stayed at the door, still studying the shrinking girl. "I should probably go finish what I was doi-" Eva started. "You're not okay," Vic interrupted. Eva shook her head and smiled in the least fake way she could muster. "What do you mean? I'm perfectly fine! I just have stuff to do." Mike chuckled to himself and shook his head like she did. "No, we can see you're not okay and we barely even know you E. What's wrong?" he asked. Eva closed her door abruptly and ran to her bathroom, locking the door and awaiting the sound of pleads. They came shortly, Vic doing the begging.