Our Love Story

Gifts

I kept thinking about Jack. I walked home with him on my mind. I walked along side Ava. I slightly turned to look at her. She was looking across the street. A couple on a bench were holding hands. They seemed... happy? It reminded me of Jack and I, when we were kids. We always used to hang out together.
It was fall. The leaves brown, red, orange, all those wonderful colors. Fell oh so lightly on the sidewalk.

"Hey. I know what will cheer you up!" Ava said.
"I don't need cheering up, I need time alone."
"The Pier! It's your favorite place to go when your feeling sad."

That was actually true. I don't know why, but the Pier was the only place that could make me smile whenever I'm like this. I always used to go there when I wanted to get away from my family. I was 13 when I would run away. When the days were bad, I used to get my mother's liqueur and climb to the roof. When the days felt like I literally wanted to commit suicide, I waited until it was 1:00am and got my backpack, climbed out the window, and ran to the Pier. It was my safe place. Everyone has one right?

"Yeah. I'll meet you there." I said.
"Same spot and time?"
I nodded my head.
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                                    12:35

        I gathered my things. Ready to climb out my window, I heard footsteps coming up stairs. I rushed to my bed and made sure to look as if I was just about to go to sleep.
                          It was my mother.
        "Make sure you stay asleep this time." She stubbles toward my bed. "Last night I heard you walking around your room." She put her thumb on my chin and lifted my head up slightly.
        "Listen to me..." she whispered "I don't want to wondering around the streets at night. Do you hear me? It's to dangerous... and I wouldn't want anything to happen to you." She started to get aggressive, she held my hand firmly on the bed.
     "I want you to understand me. Make sure we are on the same-fucking-page, okay?"
    "y-y-yes..."
"What was that, I couldn't hear you??" Do you understand me!?" She said.
"Yes!"
       She tightly let go of my hand. As she walked out she slammed the door. Tears started to roll down my cheek. My vision was blurry. I felt as if I had just stepped on a needle. A sharp pain ran up and down my arm. I shook it off and got my backpack, quickly opened my window and ran off to the Pier.
I looked down at my watch. It was 1:15. Damn I'm late. I checked my phone for any missed calls or texts. Nothing. I guess Ava is late too? When I had finally gotten there, all I saw was this girl on a bench... she looked 17. She had brown, curly hair, a red sweater on, and some black converse.

"Hey! There you are!" Ava said from behind me. "I've been looking for you."
I turned to look back at the girl. She gone, she just wasn't there anymore.
"Uh- yeah me too."
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We had fun. That's all I have to say. We had Cotten candy, soda, popcorn, basically everything! For once we were happy. Or at least she was. No matter what I did or saw, I always thought of Jack.

Did I do this to him? Was this all because of me?

"Ima go walk around for a bit okay?"
"Yeah sure... take your time babe."Ava smiled.

I had somehow ended up at the end of the Pier. The sun was coming up. It looked like melted colors mixing together, to be accepted by the sky. The starts still out, moon still bright. It was 5:45. I heard the cool ocean breeze. This was it. An abnormal 18 year old girl, just living her life. Me... Mia Waltz.

||Yes I took my fathers last name. Even though I never got a chance to meet him. I still admire him. I think that he would be a better parent than my mother.||

The wind was blowing my hair all over the place. I loved this feeling. It was cold, yet I felt like I could stand it. I was wearing a black hoodie, capris, and low top black converse. I had an anklet that my dad had gotten me for my 15th birthday. He put it in my closet and labeled it...

Happy 15th Honey! I love you...<3

I hadn't taken it off every since. It's black. And it had my birthday on it. The day my father died. A date I'll always remember, and a moment I'll never forget.

{If you get that reference ilysm!!!!}

I realized I'd been standing here like a totally weirdo. Ehh who cares no ones around. Once again I felt the wind on my face. A strand of hair covered my brown/greenish eye. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I smelled freedom.

I was 18 I could've moved out already. Why? Well my mother... she didn't care about me either way, but I care about her, I mean she's my mother, I still love her. The reason I haven't moved out was because of her drinking problems. She abuses drugs and needs help. So I stay with her to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid that I'm sure in the future she'll regret.

One time, it actually got so bad that she passed out on her bed. I had to drag her to the car and drive her to the hospital. Yes I was younger. I was exactly 16 years old. I was so scared. All night I was wondering...

Will she survive? Was this my fault? Am I supposed to pay attention to her? I'm so confused! I don't want to be alone!!God please help my mother...

       That's why I haven't moved out. Every since that night, I've been afraid to leave my mother alone during the day. That's why I never have this thing called freedom!

    Yeah I know. I have problems. My life is as shitty as can get. I feel broken. I started to cry. My eyes got watery. I felt a tear fall down to my sweater, the rest just slowly came down on my cheek. I was hopeless. Okay let me tell you the truth. I've been really close to suicide about 4 or 5 times. I've thought about it. It's been a year since the Jack thing. I was getting the feeling people leave you because, they don't care about you anymore, they get bored of you. They need new people to be happy around.

I couldn't believe it. I was here... at the end of the dock... crying.

I turned back to the sun rising. I put my head down on the bar. I honestly felt like throwing myself into the sea.

My final tear rolled down my cheek. I was ready to end my life. I climbed to the side on the dock, leaned in and kinda let go.

I felt a hand grab my wrist.

                          "I came back"