Do you ever have those days where you just want to lay in bed all day and stare at the ceiling as tears roll down your cheeks? Today is that day for me.
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The morning is such a drag. I feel like a zombie as I pull my hair up in a high pony tail and slip on a sweater and black skinny jeans with vans. I don't grab breakfast and head straight to my car. I connect my phone to my radio and shuffle my play list I made for days like this. When I start driving and the first song to play is 'Self Conclusion' by The Spill Canvas. As I pull into the school parking lot I notice the few tears that have slipped down my cheeks. I wipe them in anger at myself for letting them spill down my cheeks. I grab my backpack and head to my locker with my head down to avoid contact. A few people roughly bump into me and I am pretty sure one of them was on purpose.
The rest of the day drags on and I'm ready to leave. I just want to go home and listen to my play list and cry. I have not seen Liam all day and honestly I am glad. I don't want to talk and I know he will just bug me and try and get me to talk. If I don't want to talk don't make me.
When I finally get home I go straight to my room and throw myself on the bed. As soon as I do my phone starts buzzing. The caller I.D. shocks me as I answer "Perrie?" my voice sounds small.
"Kylee? Hi !" She sounds as happy and energetic as the last time I saw her.
"Hi." I breathlessly say. I'm still shocked she is calling me it's been 6 years. "How are you?" I roll on my back and stare up at the ceiling as I listen for a response.
"I'm great how about yourself?" she sounds so happy, I wish I could be that happy.
"I'm okay." I lie straight through my teeth. My most used lie. I'm okay. I'm fine.
"That's good! I just wanted to check on you it's been forever and I just randomly thought of the idea to call you and such." She rambles and I zone out. Memories flash in my head of the days she was still around. I remember sitting at lunch with all our friends and laughing and actually being happy.Then the bad memories come. I remember the day she left, I remeber hardly being able to go through the day without crying. We were so close. I remeber how she didn't even say good bye and she just left without a word. Like I was nothing and she could just easily leave me behind and could careless. She never called and when I did the 100th time she answered and called me clingy and told me to leave her alone.
"Goodbye perrie." I breath out and blink tears back as I hang up. She can't just come back and think everything is okay.She can't just turn up in a dark time and act like everythings fine. It doesn't work that way.
I curl up in ball and just cry. Im not sure how long I cry and when I fall asleep but I wake up and it's 3:27a.m. and I can't fall back asleep.
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No Help
Fanfiction"How am I supposed to help you if you don't want help?" "That's the point. I don't want your help."
