Starters to my Roleplays

Katrina (one shot) - Dying

Dying was strange.

In the blink of an eye, or maybe the torment of a slow pull, you're sent spiraling down into a pool of nothingness, a black hole meant for the passed.

That's how it feels.

103.

The words echo in her head; that's the 103rd time she has been sent into this void of nothing.

Of course, she wasn't counting - whatever being that wanted to torture her did it for her. Soon it'll be 104, 105, 106, it would keep going. Until maybe her tormenter got tired of watching her die again and again, got tired of watching her fall into an abyss of endless nothing.

She didn't have a form while in this state.

It was just an empty soul, no longer having the hope and determination that a living, healthy soul would possess inside it. After realizing she couldn't escape this repetitive hell, it slowly trickled out of her until she was lost in the mangled forest of her mind, doomed to never touch the light that was always out of her reach.

She could feel, but it was limited.

All she could feel was the sensation of falling, of being dumped into a hole that's meant for the disposed, but she never makes it to the end. She has stopped trying to hope for it; it always ended with being forcefully yanked back into a real hell, back to her damaged body and back to the pain of knowing that she'll never feel the comfort of sweet death that lingered in the back of every intelligent brain.

She could see, but she couldn't see all the same.

There were colors flashing everywhere in her sight, but every time she tried to focus on the beauty of it, on the pure gracefulness of the shades, they disappeared like shooting stars. There were forms, but they always slipped out of sight when she turned her head to watch them dance, to watch them gloriously celebrate their death and mock her as she was forced into a cycle of live, die, live, die.

Hearing was torturous.

The sweet ringing of a child's laugh always loitered in the back of her mind, while joyous singing and conversation layered it to the point of it being an endless buzz of tormented happiness. They were making fun of her inability to end her life, her wish to die when it was tragically impossible; this was her punishment, they laughed. You have failed, and this is your delicious punishment.

She could only smell the burning embers of a nearby fire, a fire that would never go out and that was burning her alive on the inside, its goal to make her completely insane by the end of her suffering. Except there wasn't an end, there wasn't a dead end she could aim and hope for when all this madness somehow ended, she would have to go through this for the rest of eternity.

She was Alice, endlessly falling through her very own hole of doom, landing on the ground painfully and trying to recover, only to break and start falling again. After a while, you stop trying to fix yourself and accept the inevitable truth; this will never end.

The pain eventually fades from death. The voices are tuned out, the smell becomes a normal occurrence, and she stops trying to focus on impossible hallucinations that try to haunt her.

All you feel is the sensation of falling.

And landing on the earth.