Sincerely, Sam

Yes, he is married to me but he is not mine.

I love him. But he loved her more.

They've been bestfriends for almost a decade and it was inevitable that one would fall for the other. He fell in love with her.

Him and I met after high school when my cousin had a party. We happened to  go to the same school yet we never crossed paths up until then. But it was weird because I kept on seeing him in the hallways but there was never a moment where we talked.

Everything started when we both got drunk and I yelled, "Everyone is so fucking square." And he laughed and I held his hand and dragged him upstairs into my little cousin's room.

We played Dig Dug on my cousin's Atari for three hours straight.

The next day my older cousin found us sprawled on the floor of her little brother's room with controllers in our hands and saliva on the corners of our mouths.

"Well, that was one hell of a night." She joked.

After that, we started hanging out more and more frequently. We'd go to arcades together, trying to beat each other's high score or which stranger had the highest score. We'd buy milk shakes in the local diner and talk about random shit that our brains would lead us to.

"You know what would I do if I was hella powerful?"

"What?" He asked while moving his skateboard left to right.

"I'd make the clouds bleed gasoline into this shithole of a town, the diner is an exception of course, and i'd throw a lit match on my house and everything would be so bright and hot like the sun."

"You know, you're slightly showing signs of psychopathy. Weirdo."

"Whatever."

Most of the conversations were mostly composed of my weirdest thoughts and you'd just comment. I hate it when we have conversations where I'm the only one who's talking. It makes feel narcisstic and I don't like it. You just won't let your thoughts out. But you still want to hang out with me and I like your company anyway.

Maybe  you're just only with me because she's with someone else.

She best friend zoned him, the guy I fell in love with. This story is probably confusing whoever is reading this right now, unsure which person who the narrator is really talking to. The audience or him. But hey, I'm no writer with a college degreen on english lit.

But anyway, he professed his loved for her on the night of junior prom, moons before we met. He was scared that he might miss the probabilty of her liking him back too and he was crushed. She only saw him as a best friend nothing more nothing less.

They were still in good terms afte rthat but he has heart broken. He thought she loved him back. And she did. But only as a friend.

Months after it, she still hung out around him. Talked to him as if nothing happened. She even talked about the guys she's into to him.

Now, I'd bitch slap that girl so hard, Andre (let's give him an alias, shall we?) would probably end his friendship with me. It's either she really does only see him as a best friend or maybe she does like her back but she's scared that the relationship might end and that would really fucking hurt and their friendship might end. Permanently.

Insert the summer after senior year, and here we are, Samantha and Andre, staring at the night sky at the back of my dad's old pick-up truck.

Now during this time, there is nothing between us. No labels, no kisses or make outs, just talking and walking and wandering our state in our bicycles.