Magical - Mollie and AJ's Strictly Story

Part 26 - You'll still be my star

"Oh Mollie, no!" I think to myself, yet again, as I look in the mirror watching the sorceress of hair, Lisa, transform my Quickstep ponytail into Paso-Doble flamenco hair.

Even I can say I did well...right up until the last five seconds of the routine. There was this lovely finishing move where I was meant to slide on my heels along the floor. It didn't go to plan. I think the emotion and exhaustion of the past few weeks just caught up with me. The rest of the dance, according to AJ, was exceptional. From where we have been, to where we are now: it's been a rollercoaster. And we got our very first 9! Thank you, Bruno! I am on such a high!

The high isn't just down to the scores though...remember that people know that we...um...how should I phrase this? Connected. We connected at Blackpool – yeah. That has become the new in-joke. I think it is hilarious. AJ is just pleased that it means they've stopped the age jokes and hints about him doing his homework. Yes, we have just had all the Strictly professional dancers chanting for us to kiss; live on national TV. I was so tempted too. So tempted. I could see he didn't know what to do for the best, he started getting flustered, but we had to go off to get ready for the Paso-Doble-thon so he was saved for the best part, and hey, it made life memorable! And everyone seems so excited about the prospect of AJ and I being together, they are so fond of him. There's no point bothering to deny it now – it's just become a sort of open secret.

It would be so easy to get swept away with everything. To show the world how I feel about him. I keep reminding myself that this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I can't come back and do Strictly again, as much as I would adore to. I want to savour every moment, but I also don't want to taint something beautiful by exploiting it. I would have quite happily kissed him for all to see tonight. I'd quite happily kiss him at any time. But I want him to know that what we are building is something I want to treasure for longer than the run of the series, however long we stay in. I don't want to prostitute this precious, budding relationship for anything. What is happening between us is ours. It isn't for public consumption. People have had a window in to our lives for several weeks. But that window will close soon and we are the ones who have to work out what we mean without all the glitz and glamour. I don't want to jeopardise it. And I don't want to place him in any awkward situations.

He has so much charisma and ability, but he doesn't know how tough it can be to have your love life scrutinised in the press. I've been there and I would definitely protect him from as much as I can. I know I'm wrapped up in him, but I have one eye on the future – say he's on Strictly next year, as I hope he will be, after all he loves it and he's amazing, right? Well, say he gets paired up with a late-middle-aged woman who can't dance? Imagine the headlines – AJ angry at being 'stitched up' with duffer. So then imagine he gets a total ringer for a partner – someone young, attractive and with a stage school dance background – the headlines will all be about him being attracted to her and how he's an evil man for cheating on me. How can we win? I know as soon as Strictly ends our every move will be monitored by the press. I don't want to go down the 'announcement' line with Hello and OK magazine features. That isn't me, and I don't think it is him either. But I also don't want to be constantly chased for pictures of us together. Maybe it is easier if we try, at least in the public domain, to insist we are just friends? It'll be tough though. I'm no actress and when I look at him, I can't help but sparkle. No matter what, he'll still be my star. Always.

Speak of the cheeky devil, and there he appears! We are both ready for this Paso-Doble-thon. Oh, love Lisa, she's ready to take a photo. Smile!