I remember being "the big guy"
I remember asking you if I was ok, the way I was with my weight. You said yes, as if I had nothing to worry about, and that everything was good. Well, I remember that.... now.
I remember when you asked that one time "is kissing cheating?" Not only did you already know the answer, but you also knew that I would forgive you anyway. Then and the 6 other times. Well, I remember that.... now.
I remember that time when we went on a trip where we drove for hours and hours. We stayed for two weeks and you didn't even want to come near me romantically the entire time. Oh yeah, it was also our honeymoon. Well, I remember that.... now.
I remember that night in the club, 2am. A drunk guy was rubbing up against you and I tried to come to your rescue. I got pushed to the ground. But, I was too fat, too weak and too scared to do anything about it. And you were too drunk to notice. Well, I remember that.... now.
I remember living well on a poor salary. I would just give you my paycheck and you would work your magic. It always confused me how you managed all the bills gracefully ...until the power went out, twice. Well, I remember that.... now.
I remember being so distant from my family that I would only speak to my mom if I wanted something and then calling my dad "bud" over the phone. He disappointingly told me 3 months later; the next time I called. Well, I remember that.... now.
I remember getting a new pair of shorts. They weren't mine at first. I acquired them after finding them in my laundry basket next to our bed. They were a little tight but I never said anything. Well, I remember that.... now.
I remember December 15, 2009. A major life discussion that would launch my new diet. Where I would go on to lose 60lbs in just over a month. Shorty after that, I would finally utter the words "I am beautiful" for the first time ever. Well, I remember that.... now.
I remember seeing your new boyfriend that you would run off with. He looked oddly familiar. It only clicked in my head the moment when I went to tie my shoe and look up at him. Although this time, it wasn't 2am in a dark club. Well, I remember that.... now.
