Out of Focus

Chapter 1

 I stepped outside. The party was so smothering, too many people getting drunk. It didn't feel real. I didn't belong here. The June night was warm with just a whisper of a breeze. What am I doing here? I took a deep breath and then I saw someone else was out here with me. I looked at him, just standing there on the porch looking out at the night and the forest beyond. He was smoking a cigarette and I vaguely smelled alcohol. He must be drunk. He finally seemed to notice that he wasn't alone. He glanced over at me and for a moment he looked slightly out of focus. For a moment I couldn't move, I was looking into the most beautiful  blue eyes I'd ever seen. He smiled. I just stood there and stared at him. I'm sure I looked like a total idiot. "I couldn't take it anymore," he said, glancing back inside. "Looks like you too." I nodded, finally coming to my senses and shaking myself out of the stupor I found myself in. "Yeah, last day of school and everyone takes it as a license to get totally wasted," I said. "Well, can't say I'm not wasted." He smiled again, and took another drag from his cigarette. He threw it down and ground it out with his shoe. "I only smoke when I'm drunk," he said.  "That's good, smoking will kill you," I said lamely. Geez, could I be any more cliche?  

"Hey, there you are! Come on before it's all gone," a girl with long blonde hair came out and grabbed him by the hand, dragging him back in. With one last smile he walked back inside with her, and I was left alone. Alone, that's what I had been looking for, right? Maybe...

My alarm woke me up at exactly 6am. Ugh this is way too early... Then I remembered it was my first day of school, back to the grind. Except this year was my Senior year. This is the year I will remember forever, supposedly. Right now, all I felt was tired and grumpy, I definitely was not a morning person. I got up and reluctantly made my way to the bathroom. Looking at my reflection, I gave a half-hearted smile. I know I wasn't terrible looking but I always had difficulty looking at myself in the mirror. I ran a brush through my light brown hair, and washed my face. I didn't really wear makeup so I just slapped some moisturizer on my face and called it a day. Next stop was coffee, pronto. 

I settled down with my coffee when my best friend, Chloe, texted me. "Are you ready? This is going to be the best year of our lives!" I rolled my eyes and sighed. Chloe was the exact opposite of me. She was spunky and happy-go-lucky. I envied her and how happy she akways seemed. I wished I could be as carefree as Chloe. I replied to her, "I hope you're almost here, don't want to be late for our first day." I gulped down the rest of my black coffee, grabbed my backpack and went outside to meet Chloe. Chloe pulled up after 2 minutes in her brand new  cherry red Jeep. I approached stating "Wow, nice ride." She smiled and replied, "My parents divorcing has it's perks. My dad feels like he has to buy my love. I won't complain." I hopped in and proceeded to pull my hair into a ponytail for the drive to school. Chloe looked at me and gave me a smile, "It will be ok, Natalie. We got this." I smiled back at her and gave a thumbs up. Thank god I had Chloe. This girl was the reason I was able to continue going to school without a full-on panic attack. Chloe cranked up the radio and sped off. 5 minutes later we were pulling into the parking lot of Golden Oaks High School. Chloe turned to me and said, "Just remember, this is our last year. Let's make it count!" I nodded my head and gave her smile. "Chloe, have I told you how much I love you right now?" She smiled, "Not in the last 10 minutes. Come on, let's go." I took a deep breath and got out of her Jeep. Swinging my backpack over my shoulder I proceeded to walk up to Golden Oaks High. Other students were all around us. I just focused on myself and Chloe walking beside me. "Ok, this is where we have to part ways," Chloe gave me a hug and started to walk away. She turned around yelling, "Meet me by the quad for lunch!" I waved to her and turned to look at my schedule. Looked like I had English for first period in building 700. I started to make my way towards that part of the campus.

I found a seat in the back and proceeded to settle in. After a couple minutes just as the late bell rang, I saw the most beautiful boy walk in. I squinted my eyes and internally gasped.  I would recognize those blue eyes anywhere. This was the boy I ran into back in June at that party. I watched him walk in and choose a seat a couple desks away from mine in the back. I couldn't believe it was him. I had spent all summer thinking about this mysterious boy and resigning myself to the fact that I would never see him again. Now, here he was right in front of me.  I quickly got my phone out and discreetly texted Chloe, "OMG! He is here in my English class!" Chloe would know who he was, since I had been talking about this guy all summer. I settled back and just watched him out of the periphery of my eye. After an hour, mercifully, English was over. The bell rang and I grabbed my backpack. "Hey, you're Natalie right?" I looked up and those baby blue eyes met mine. I internally melted and gave a nod. He smiled and said, "Cool, I remember you from that party." I still couldn't say anything, so I started to walk away. "What's your next class?" He ran up to me. "Um, ...(I looked at my schedule) it's Social Studies." He said, "Oh cool, that's near my next class. Let me walk with you." He then started to follow me out of the classroom. I couldn't breathe, let alone start walking towards the right building of my Social Studies class. "Here, I think it's this way." He grabbed my arm and pulled me along. My heart skipped a beat. How could he just nonchalantly do that? "How was your summer? By the way my name is Samuel. You can call me Sam." He chatted happily beside me. "It, it was ok." I stammered out. "Cool, cool. I'm new here but everyone has been super nice so far. I hope you don't mind but you were the only face I recognized in that class." He stated. I smiled, "No, it's ok. I just was surprised that you recognized me. We only met for a couple minutes at that party. That other girl seemed to be more interested in you." "Oh gosh, that was Emily, my cousin." He smiled back at me. "You were definitely memorable." Really? Was this really happening? Before I knew it we were at my next class. "Hey, nice seeing you again. I hope I run into you again." He smiled and turned away, leaving my heart with palpitations. Wow, was this real life? How could a boy as beautiful as Sam remember me? I walked into my next class pondering this issue...