Jori: The One That Got Away

Nobody.

My family had disowned me due to my sexuality, I was  homeless; just sleeping from couch to couch.

So in other words I was a failure.  If I were to die right there, that very moment, not a person would have noticed, hah, infact they might even shout with glee, or thank god that, that I, the burden, had finally been lifted off of their shoulders.

Everyone hated me and they always have.

I mean, I was once loved by a woman.

An insane one at that.

She was insane enough to love me.

To love me at my best and especially at my worst. She promised to do so and she did just that.

But I had to go fuck everything up.

We were supposed to go get married, and I was going to become this star, an actress maybe do some singing, that was the plan. Her and I were going to live a happy life, maybe even have  some children of our own. I remember those late nights where we'd steal my parents liquor and then climb up on top of my old, beat up Buick, and I'd try to convince her to drink. She'd always take about 15 minutes before she'd cave in and drink with me, and then we'd talk about everything, plan every detail, from what our children's names would be. We chose Elizabeth Skye West for our girl and Jacob Taylor West for our little boy.

I ruined it. I ruined it all.

I began to drink. We were buried with bills to the neck down and we couldn't do anything. I got a record deal a few years back, but I just wasn't making it big.

I wasn't getting noticed by anyone. I tried to get some acting jobs but all I got were stupid commercials that only aired late at night. I was just getting nowhere with it.

The stress got to me and I'd try to drink it away.  She'd always undress me, clean me up, put everything back in its rightful place in our small, one bedroom apartment and then lay me underneath out blankets. She'd just lay with me there as I cried. These were some of the only moments I ever cried; when I was intoxicated and confused, so very confused about everything.  She'd hold me for hours, until my loud sobs turned to light sniffles, then she'd whisper sweet nothings into my ear as she caressed my bare back.

It was just this on night. This one night I had too much and I struck her across her face. Her beautiful tan face had a small trail of dark, red blood dripping down from her nose.