Shadowed

Jack

The sun beats down on my shoulders and neck mercilessly, making it feel as though it were hell on earth as I lean against the side of my truck and listen to my stomach growl. It's lunch break at the construction sight, all the guys are hopping into their trucks and driving off without a second glance to me. Even Charlie, my cousin and boss, has locked himself up into his little trailer without asking if I want to come. I don't, but it would've been nice to be invited.

I sigh. Oh how, I've fallen. Caring about what all these pricks think of me. Pull it together Jack.

Why should I? I have no money for food and a piece of shit truck and a hunger for my sweet girl Beth that I'll never be able to sate. That whore.

I spit and cross my arms angrily. Beth is the reason I had to get this job anyway. My Ma had begged Charlie to give me a job while I was locked up; she herself had been dying of stage 4 colon cancer at the time, but she couldn't let her baby boy starve of course so she had done her best to see that I was taken care of.

"Look at me now, Ma." I growl.

The damn sun is burning me, why in the hell did I wear a wife beater? I push myself away from the car and slump off across the school parking lot. I figure I can find something to do on the sight. I go out of my way to walk in front of the school library because the sidewalk is thrown in shadow. The whole wall is a panel of windows so you can see inside. I glance over as I walk and numbly take in the rows of books and the occasional armchair. There's an open area ahead and as I walk by I see a girl sitting in one if the armchairs facing the window.

My stomach jumps for some reason and before I know what I'm doing, I'm bending down to pretend to tie my shoe.

What the hell are you doing, Jack?

Beats me. After a second I slowly straighten up and look inside at the girl again. I'm standing almost directly in front of her. I can feel my jaw slacken as I take her in. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

Long, wavy brown hair. Chocolate brown. Her skin is pale and smooth and contrasts nicely with her dark hair and peach colored lips. She's wearing capris and those strappy brown sandals that all the teenage girls wear. Her shirt is blue with a print of red and yellow flowers all over it. I smile with a breathless laugh. My heart feels as though it's inflating, cutting off my air supply and making me dizzy.

She's reading a book, the Great Gatsby, with a focused, tranquil expression. God, she's beautiful. Does she even realize the way she makes me feel? No. Of course not. I could never be good enough for a girl like her anyway. Just look at her. She crosses her legs, as if she can hear me, and bends down to pull her back pack closer to her leg before settling back and reading again.

I love you.

But she doesn't love you, Jack. Just look at you, you couldn't even keep Beth.

That bitch didn't appreciate me. I loved her more than anything, she didn't understand. But this girl... She's everything I've ever wanted. I love her.

But does she love me?

I haven't looked away from her, I don't think I've even blinked. I imagine that my love is like a wave, continually beating against the glass separating us in a desperate attempt to let her know. If only she knew. Then she would love me as well.

She tilts her head ever so slightly and glances up at me. Our eyes meet and my breath stops. Her eyes are astonishingly blue, like sapphires fixed into her head. She blinks, her long lashes kissing the top of her cheeks, before looking at me slyly.

Oh God, she knows. She knows that I love her. She thinks I'm an idiot.

A wave of anger sweeps over me and as I take a breath to tell the bitch off...

She smiles.

It's so small I think I must've imagined it but no, it's still there. Her eyes narrow as the smile grows bigger and the anger is gone, replaced with a heart so full I'm left breathless. Its as if I can hear what she's thinking, her smile says it all: I love you too.

I start to smile as well and raise my hand to wave when she suddenly looks away and pulls her phone out of her pocket and answers it. She grins at the speaker on the other end of the line and stands, hefting her bag onto her back and walking away in one move.

My hand clenches into a fist, suddenly furious at the person who interrupted us. With a wave of her hair, I can see her disappear behind a row of books and she's gone. Gone. The love of my life is gone.

I don't even know her name...

And just like that Beth is gone from my mind, I'm finally over her; now the only thought I have is of the beautiful girl with the chocolate brown hair and the sapphire eyes. I close my eyes and lick my lips, my throat is incredibly dry. Blood is roaring in my ears, adrenaline surging through my veins. I have to know her name, once I have that she'll truly be mine.