Not a saviour [destiel]

chapter 11

Castiel was lost. Yes, he had Dean by his side through his little journey but he didn't know where to go. He couldn't go back to Sam in risk of being beat up, so here he was, walking on the side of he road with his thumb in the air, hoping for someone to drive by the desolated road.

His shirt stuck to his back from the sticky sweat that leaked from his body and slowly slid down his back and chest.

Dean walked beside him, fading away whenever a car drove by. No one bothered Cas as he pleaded them with his eyes to pick him up out of this heat. even though he did enjoy walking beside Dean, he still wanted to feel comfortable while doing that.

Dean didn't seem to be bothered by the heat. He had his hands in his pocket, balancing on cracks that would appear on the side of the long road. 

They didn't speak much, mostly because Castiel's throat screamed for something cool and soothing to cascade down his throat in a relaxing frenzy. How he missed that right now. 

The sun started to slide down the sky in its graceful movements. Castiel would watch it's fire dance across the sky as it sank down. 

Finally when it was just a sunset across the horizon Castiel sat down with Dean on a boulder that was a little smaller then a car that sat in the middle of a field to watch the sun.

They watched the sun, snuggling deeper into the silence of the night as the stars started to be spread across the sky. The stars always reminded Castiel of Dean. His eyes and how they were so green. His lips and how they were plush and pink he almost always wanted to kiss him. Castiel didn't even know where these feelings came from. They just appeared like a ball of fire the grew bigger and bigger in his chest. All Castiel knew right now were the stars and the love for Dean that seeped into his bones and skin that it was intoxicating. He loved every second of it.

He glanced over at Dean shyly who was staring at the stars, a small smile on his face. At that moment Castiel almost started crying. He almost lost Dean and that thought made his heart shatter at the thought.

Dean looked over at Cas who got caught at staring at Dean, causing a blush to appear all over Castiels pale skin.

Dean just smiled and rapped his arm around Castiels shoulder. Smiling, Castiel snuggled deeper into Dean and he felt at peace until a question ran across his mind and his smile faltered.

Looking at the stars with Dean, the question slipped out his lips. 

"Why do you like me Dean?" Castiel asked, his voice small like a child.

Dean just smiled down at him, "What do you mean Cas?"

Cas shrugged, "I mean, why do you like me? i'm not that special and your... Your beautiful. Your dead because of me and i just can't get why you decided to look past all of that and do all of this for me. To love me. I just cant get that. I couldn't save you when you died. I couldn't be your saviour and you just forget all about that. Why is that Dean."

The smile on Deans perfect lips disappeared and sadness seeped into his eyes.

"Why would you think that? My death wasn't your fault. Non of it was. I was dead because of my choices and i made those choices because i didn't want to see you hurt. So what if you couldn't save me. Some people just arn't meant to be saved."

"It is still my fault. You did that because of me-" Castiel was interrupted by Deans finger shushing his lips.

smiling and shacking his head, Dean brought his face closer to Castiels, making his heart jump around his chest.

"Oh, my angel. How am i going to make you believe."

Cas shrugged and looked at the stars that shined behind Dean's head, "I have no idea."