Everywhere

I love him, I always have. That didn't seem to ease my worries as we sat on his wide bed, his mouth moving sweetly over mine and his hands wandering curiously. It only made them worse. He loves me, I know, but what if we do this and suddenly he doesn't? 

I pulled away and looked at him. He was beautiful, just like in a fairy tale. I'd gotten the guy with great skin, nice hair, and damn cute smile. Tall, dark, and handsome. I couldn't help but scrunch nose, I never thought I'd like a guy like this. 

He watched my eyes closely, something he'd always done. Lowering his forehead to mine he spoke softly, "And what is she overthinking about now?" 

"You." I'm always thinking about you, I wanted to say. It was pointless though, because he already knew. 

"Me?" He asked slowly. He was quiet for a while, his own thoughts probably getting away with him. "What did I do?" 

"You didn't do anything," I wanted to laugh but it seemed impossible at the moment. I was so nervous, even with him there, the person I'm most comfortable with. I kissed him softly as I scooted myself closer to him. He circled an arm around my waist and rested his hand on my knee. I pulled back to look at him again. 

His hand rested there in that very spot so often, craving more, praying that one day it could take a step further. I was tired of telling it no, telling him no. I was ready, I swear I was, but I was also scared. "You have to help me."

"Help you?" He asked confused. He looked at me as if I was speaking another language. I pushed myself over him, landing slightly in his lap and kissing him more aggressively this time. I didn't want to have to say the words and after a while I didn't have to. He seemed to get into it, pushing his weight into me and grabbing at me. I liked it, I like that he wanted me, but at the same time I had no idea what I was doing. Sensing this, he pulled away. One of his hands still held onto my thigh while the other rested sweetly on my cheek. "Are you sure about this, baby?" 

Glad that he asked, I sat up straighter. I did need to explain this in words. Some of it at least. "You have to promise to be gentle and patient, and you have to show me what to do. You have to help me, please?" 

He looked at me, a smile forming in his eyes but his face unwavering. Then he was on me again. Kissing me he ran his hands down my back his fingers tracing the edge of my shirt. I ignored the urge of reflexively swatting his hands away and let him lift my shirt over my head. I kept my own hands behind his back, not sure what I should be doing with them. 

Our clothes disappeared quickly as if they were never supposed to be there in the first place. As I sat naked on the bed, his eyes mesmerized staring at me, I felt my face heating up an embarrassment. I wasn't sure what he was thinking, was this something he wanted, or was I just something to have, something to play with or entertain him while he had nothing else to do? 

"What now?" I asked as I twiddled my fingers together nervously. I was trying my hardest not to look at him but that never seemed to work for me. He ducked his head in search of my eyes, and it only took a couple seconds for me to blink into his gaze. 

"What now?" He asked softly, his eyebrow raising in question. I nodded, wanting badly for him to tell me what I should be doing. His thumb traced circles into my cheek, sending chills up my spine as he lowered his lips back down. "I kiss you everywhere."