heart brokenn :"))

Story about my life

Chapter 1 [Her life story] ;
"Myself"

im trigger with my life and the way my life gonna end , i dont even know if it gonna end well or ended up with bad people. i know i ruined my own life because of listening to them but this time round i wanna change. This all started when i was at a age of "6 years old" , this journey make me feel like giving up but because of some reasons i choose to hold the "pain"

Chapter 2 [Her life story] ;

" Family "

"A world that's cruel , that full of pains" my mindset started to occur. all of my surroundings are just full of fakeness, liars and cruel . I was damn obsessed with this thoughts because of the tough journey that i gone through at my age of 6 . My journey became tougher after i lost contacting with my father and i didn't receive any of my mother affection or support from there onwards. Its hurt looking at your family and your friends family perfection , knowing that they have everything that they needed i felt so jealous about it . I know that i will never being easy for me if i tried my best the past 6 years. Everyday i went home , it felt like nobody was there. my house usually going to be a dark place for me with no joyfulness or fun. All my family members know to do is just to tease me about my father. Sometimes i really get frustated with them teasing me or my father . Their disturbance really pissed me off where it get to the point that i feel like running away. After all of this problems, im started to changed , where none of my family even expecting it. (next is about "friends")

Chapter 3 : [Her life story] ;
"Friends"

All this started on 26/07/2016 where i started to mixed around with the bad influence , this incident happen after school . They asked me if i wanna hangout // lepak with them as i told them im bored so we decided to go to my friend house. "what we doing there uh?" i asked. They replied "we want to smoke" ... but at that point of time i dont even know how to hold a ciggrattes . As we lepak // hangout there , my friend asked me to do a dare that include "ciggrattes" .. so i took that dare and do it infront of them. Im suprised by the way i smoke it and blew it as i dont even know how . At that moment , i asked my friend for more.. day by day my smoking habits started to get worse because of the addiction , i decided to challenge myself to decrease my smoking. It works but i still smoke 😂 well after months , i started to regret with my actions as during Physical Eduction (PE) i felt like i could hardly breath and the beat of my heart when so fast. My fitness started to drop because of smoking. Then after months , my friends suggested me to drink beer at first and i still do it , After time and time from beer i changed to liquor.. its amazed me how friends could literally change your pathway of life. Therefore , because of this changes i dont even know about myself anymore. "because of pain that i going through , it changes myself to worse which no one could even understand" At that point of time , its getting worse that include drugs at that moment. (next chapter)

Chapter 4 : [Her life story] ;
"drugs"

"Pain changes , myself"
what does that mean? hmm , i know i started to smoke & drink and if i could change the time i wont have even took that dare or drink. Day after day, my life is full of problems. Being a young adult is hard , you only get to feel happiness just for awhile but hardship disturb you everytime . I sometimes wonder "why is it hard for me to feel happy for a moment until i gain my strength back , sighh" I know every decision i make there is always a consequences involve. After sometimes , from smoking habits it goes futher more dangerous "drugs".. because of my friends whom influence me to smoke & drink but now that influence me to take drugs which i tried my best to say no , but yet they still did it. They said with the feelings of you doing drugs you wont feel anything not even your problems or sadness. So i try it and yes , i didnt feel anything. All i do was just laugh and laugh until i felt myself as if im crazy. It changes everything after i took it , the way i walk . the way i talk . the way my reactions was . it was totally different. Day by day , i kept asking them more about drugs . It getting a habit to me , to the point that i tried really hard to stop because i know that i cant bare with the consequence if any of my family members or school knows. i stopped after sometime. But the worse is yet come. One day , our discipline masters & mistress called me & my friends out. A first i thought they gonna talk about "smoking" matter but i was wrong. They told asked to go in the "MPR" room and wait while they called out more students. Before they step in , some of us was having conversation about why we are here. "eh why we were called uh?" i asked , "i dont know , maybe about smoking? or drugs?" senior said. "drugs?" , my bestfriend asked. "yeah drugs , because some of kids were caught with drugs" senior reply. I heard a footsteps approaching slowly , the teachers open the door slowly and enter the room. Ms Han , is one of our strict teacher. She asked us if we know why we are here but no one of us know about what. Ms Han said , "you guys are here because , your names have been in our list for smoking with some substance chemical" .. at that point of time , i felt trigger when she mention the word "drugs" she gave us a chance whether to admit it or not , so we need to write
a school statement if we did it or not. Inside the statement we need to write "where , when , with , how and why"
if we ever done it . Out of 10 student in that room only i admit, because of my integrity attitude. it was 2:45pm , i was hold with the teachers until 4:45pm . they called my mom down to ask her to bring me to bedok HQ. while waitinf for her , my form teacher . Mr khoo said " mira , i know your next 24hours are gonna be tough but relax alright?" ... after hearing that i felt scared , it felt like i was as if in prison. Around 5:50pm my mom arrived and she was asked to go to different room to talked about this matter with the principal as well as the discipline teachers. Around 6:30pm , i was called to enter that room and i saw my mom sitting at the middle of the conflict. She asked " mira why you do it at first?" i reply "influence by friends uh ma" "promise you wont do it again?" my mom reply. "i promise ma" i said..
after the conflict matter end. The teachers told my mom to bring to Bedok Hq . So after that, we went to bedok Hq to settle the matter. We waited and waited until it was around 7:25pm , i was told to follow one of the female police officer to do my urine test. After i took my urine test, they told me it was negative because the last time i took it, it was 2/3 months ago ... However, i need to take down my statement and need to wait until my IO in-charge came. It was already around 8/9pm . The police officers there are so nice and annoying, HAHA.. because most of them asked me why im here and what i do. after asking they gave me advice about all this matter and where my life could lead to. At 10:45pm , after i took my statement and my mom bail me out , i need to wait in 1 room alone with no usage of phone or even a conversation with other people. Finally after they realease me , my mom said "why do you have to trouble me so much?" , i looked down with a regrettion face. (next chapter)