Song of the Chapter: Our Time To Go, State Champs
The three friends stood there on the pavement silently. Alex and Theo stared at the girl carefully with tears in their eyes. Of course they wanted her to have everything she wanted, but someone who would just abandon their kid, especially someone like Eva, didn't deserve to know her or apologize to her. They wanted the best for her, and this didn't qualify as the best for Eva in their eyes. Meanwhile, Eva felt so stupid for saying it, for wanting it in the first place.
"I just need to know why," she whispered to the two boys. Alex and Theo exchanged a look before Theo hugged her tightly and Alex rubbed her back. "E, your dad doesn't deserve the chance to explain himself. He left you behind. That was his choice." Eva rebutted, "But maybe he had a good reason. Maybe he really thought it was best to leave me. Maybe-"
"No Eva! He left you! He hurt you! No one gets to hurt you and just walk back into your life. He shouldn't get to suddenly be a hero for this!" Theo yelled, anger at Eva's father bubbling up and being spat at her. Eva looked up to him with wet cheeks then looked over to Alex. All he did was look down at his feet and rub the back of his neck. "I need you to understand, Theo. No one gets that, do they?" With that, Eva ran just like always, sprinting farther and farther until she went into a tree covered area down the street from her house. She sat down and tried to breathe, trying to sort out the thoughts that were genuinely good from the evil ones. 'It was so stupid. Now I've ruined everything I had. I have no one anymore, not after Theo and Alex tell Brendon and Sarah what I wanted. They're going to think I don't love them. God, people are going to look for me. I can't do that. I gotta get out.' Eva thought continuously.
After a couple more minutes of thought, she pulled a pink post it from her phone case and let the metal inside of it fall into her hand. Eva read the note over and over again. It was the same one that has haunted her for years. 'You deserve better' was all it ever said but she knew there was so much more to the story. Was she stupid for wanting to know it? Of course she was, right? Maybe he just never cared, threw her a mindless phrase to hold on to and be tortured by for all the times she would sit and wonder why she wasn't enough to keep him here with her.
Eva sat on the ground with the note placed in front of her as she tossed the blade from one palm to the other carefully. Deep down she knew that her friends wanted the best for her and never meant to send her into this. She would never blame them. She would never blame a band member or her parents. She would never blame her dad. She would try to not blame herself. Relapse was apart of recovery, but how many times can you do it before everyone, including yourself, stops caring?
Eva placed the sterling silver against her forearm but refused to push down. She let it sit there and stew, she wanted to try to be better than it. Eva put the tiniest pressure, letting it increase bit by bit but still trying to drag out the pain for as long as possible. Right as she was about to give in, right as she reread the little explanation she did have for the millionth time, a voice called to her.
"Put it down, E. You don't need it." The voice was one she hadn't heard in a few days, a voice she barely heard since she got shot. When Eva turned around she saw a worried Pete Wentz standing at the opening to the woods. She threw the blade to the ground and ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck and crying into his shoulder. "There you go, sweetie" he whispered smiling. She was starting to get better slowly again. "I didn't want to, I delayed it for so long and you made me finally drop the blade, Pete." He pulled the now somewhat calm girl into his chest and felt her breathing slow back down. "Let's go back and talk to Brendon and Sarah. I won't tell them about this okay? But on tour, we're doing checks. Be ready for that." Eva nodded and picked up the note and blade. She put the note back into her phone case but looked at the blade with wonder. Finally, she handed it to Pete who threw it far away from them. "You never needed it, Eva." She nodded and followed him into the house.
Who knew so much weight could be taken away from one tiny piece of metal?
YOU ARE READING
Gonna Be the Death of Me (adopted by Brendon Urie)
Fiksi PenggemarEva only knew that she was left behind; her mom by fate and her dad by sorrow. Living in an home for girls for two years and being the oldest there, she grew up alone and with a feeling that it would never change. Music was the only escape she had u...
