Renesmee's Story (A Twilight Fan Fiction) *BEING EDITED*

Chapter 8- Part 4

He comes into view quicker than I expected and when he sees me he slows down, slightly confused. When he reaches me he hugs me tightly and I hug him back, not wanting to do what I know I have to. Stay strong, Nes, I think to myself in my head when he lets go. Cannot risk him hearing any of my thoughts right now, I think cautiously.

 I look around and we are deep in the woods where, hopefully, no one can see us. We are close to the town though so my parents will not be hunting here. He lowers his head for a kiss and I want to keep strong but cannot. As soon as our lips touched I began to kiss him back. I pull away from the kiss quickly as I am here to do one thing and one thing only. He steps out of our embrace and studies me. I take a couple steps back- away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice drenched with concern.

Right now, I just want to fall into his arms and hear him say it is going to be OK, but I have to get him out of this, I have to take control and I don't want him anywhere near the Volturi. It kills me, knowing what I am about to do but I love him, and this is the only way I can think of right now to protect him.

"What isn't wrong?" Is the only answer I can think of. My voice is strained with pain and heartache and I'm just hoping that I can continue without him making me lose thought. He opens his mouth to say something but I continue before he can even get a word out.

"My parents hate me, I have disappointed them, and myself. This is my fault. I know, you were there but I was the one that wanted to explore, their place wasn't good enough for me. All of this, the Volturi coming back, is my fault and mine alone. Not yours. I snapped at my parents tonight, I could feel the anger and fury rising and couldn't stop it. I might not be strong enough to hurt them but at the moment I am strong enough to hurt you, and I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I could've done anything tonight, if I didn't storm off to my room. No one understands what I am going through, it is all brand new to all of you. I need help and until I do, I don't want you anywhere near me. Not Charlie, not you, not anyone I can hurt. I don't know my own strength anymore, maybe I'm not strong enough to hurt you, but there is a strong possibility I am and I'm not going to test that theory, Jacob."

"Nes-" he takes a few steps towards me but I take the same amount back.

"Jacob, I don't want you involved in this. Nothing serious happened last time the wolves sided with us against the Volturi but they aren't the giving type- especially for a second time. I will not risk you being hurt, so don't ask me to. This is my burden, and if I could stop my family being involved I would, but I can't. You, on the other hand, I can. So please, please don't make this any harder for me. Until I understand all of this, I don't . . . I don't want to see you. If I do ever figure this out, I will decide my next step then, but this is my decision right now. And I swear that I am going to stand by it."

"You don't have to do this, Nes-"

"Yes, I do."

"Renesmee, I-"

"Goodbye, Jacob," I say, turning around to leave. As I'm just about to run away I feel one of his hands wrap tightly around my wrist. Before I can stop myself, a low growl escapes my now clenched jaw. However, to my regret, Jacob's grip around my wrist doesn't loosen -it tightens. I can practically see the pain on his face without even turning around. I desperately want to face him and apologise but I know I will not be able to leave. This just proves why I am here; to protect Jake, he cannot be near me right now, I'm dangerous. I can feel anger flaring up inside of me and know it is time for me to leave. I also know if I turn around I won't be able to go through with this.

"Let go," I snarl.

"Don't do this, I can help."

"Let go," I plead, my voice sounding more desperate.

"I love you." My anger vanishes completely but my decision doesn't change.

"Jacob, please, let go, before you get hurt." I struggle in his grip but he won't let me go. This angers me again and even more, and I become scared of myself. Jacob! Let me go! Before I hurt you! I plead, hoping he hears me. Sadly, I don't think he did, and if he did, he ignored it. I pull my arm as hard as I can and am released from his strong grip. I don't look back -I don't face Jacob or even say another word-, I run as fast as I can in whatever direction I was facing, praying that he doesn't follow me.

When I realise he isn't following, I start to run back home. When the house comes into view I jump into a tree. I study the clearing and make sure Jacob is not there; he might've came here knowing that I would come back. When I know that the coast is clear I jump down and run inside. I lock the door knowing that Jake will probably come here. He will be confused and try to get in touch, he'll possibly try tomorrow but I will make sure we are busy. It pains me but I do not want him near me until I take control of myself and my emotions.

After I shut all the windows I go into my room, closing my bedroom door behind me, making it appear as if I never left. I rest my back against my door and slide down it until I am sitting on the floor. I know I don't breathe at all but I feel myself breathing in tight gasps -like a human when they sob and am about to cry. I tightly close my eyes and hug my legs to my chest, resting my head on my knees. I feel heartbroken, even though I know that what  I have done is the right thing to do. I love Jacob but if I want to protect him he cannot be near me right now, I am unstable and need serious help to control these mood swings. I hear my phone start to ring from my bookshelf but ignore it until it stops. When it has stopped I grab it from the bookshelf than sit back down where I was. I see that I have one missed call from Jacob, the first of many. So I don't have to deal with it I switch my phone off then throw it onto my bed.

**** Here is another upload. Sorry it took so long, my internet has been down. Please comment and vote if you think it deserves it. Thanks for reading, ShanLouise****