I entered the room. No, I can't, I really can't. Being here feels so painful. I finally open my eyes and give a look to the place : It's my second home, It was my second home. NO! I can't I really can't. I sit down and start to cry. It's sorrow and sorrow going down my cheeks over and over...For an indeterminate time my heart bleeds. I've never cried like this before... Although i felt grief when loosing my captaincy i've never experienced something like what I am going through right now. But I have to. I stand up, push the button and start to dance. From the outset my moves feel suitable : dance always helped me go through hards times. I jump, fell on the floor, doing moves I've never done before...I am dancing in studio A : my home where i met my next step family. My home where we hugged to forgive each other, where...we danced together during the rally... I stop in a middle of a tour jumping down on the floor again. I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away, thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes. The song keeps on and the lyrics have never be this true..."Lola...I miss you so much...You can't let me" I scream while crying and dancing. I jump in an aerial, and stop. I'm in front of the mirror and observe myself...I look so pitiful, so dismal without her. I am nothing with her away. I close my eyes and all the memories are coming back : The first time we met, our eyes coming across each other, when she convinced me to dance, when we fought, then forgave each other, fighting again and forgiving each other again. She was my first real friend ever. And then the moment she told me goodbye, telling me she was going away to England. I wish i could go back to this moment. I didn't tell her how i felt, how i was thankful for her. I would like to say to her for the last time : thank you, you've been my best friend, i love you. No I did say it. I would like to tell her : Thank you, i love you, love you so much like i've never loved anyone before, her blue eyes looking at mine, smiling, brighting. And... her lips on mine. I open my eyes and come across green eyes filled of tears. It could have happened but I didn't say anything. Because i love her and i didn't know it until now. I'm hurt.
