Have you ever wished that you could start over?
Press the reset button on life?
Be someone else?
I know you probably have. Because I know that's what I think about all the time.
By all the time I mean every waking moment I have.
It started when I was born.
I was born to an alcoholic "mom" and a psychotic "dad"; Regina and Jared Sparks.
They named me Teal. Of all names, Teal. I lived with it, though.
When I was four, my dad decided to go on a psychotic rampage. He tried to pull a gun to my head, but he was caught. So he turned the gun to his own head.
I don't remember much, other than my mom was gone a lot. When she was home, she was always with a different guy.
Then, my sister,Claire, was born when I was seven. I'm always jealous of her perfect, dark brown hair, my hair being blonde and somewhat streaky. I love her anyways, there's no way I couldn't. She is my sister after all.
Every morning was practically identical.
My alarm clock screeched at me, making me groan and try to shut it off, which often resulted in me knocking it on the ground.
I made my way to the kitchen and dug through the kitchen for breakfast.
I got ready and all that, then started my trek to school.
As always, Elisia was waiting with her crew. We scanned each other's outfits. She was wearing her frilly baby blue skirt, white tanktop, and matching sequined vest with high heeled boots. She cringed at my outfit; dark skinny jeans, Converse, and red hoodie.
"Where did you get that.. thing?", she said while pointing at my hoodie.
"I dunno, why, you want one?"
She ran her hand through her curly hair that was meticuously styled in a side ponytail.
"I wouldn't be caught dead with that disgusting sack of a shirt on me."
"I wouldn't mind if you were dead."
She gave me a nasty look and turned on her heel. So childish.
I sat against the wall for a minute, until the warning bell rang in my ears. I spun around to bound down to hall. I managed to slide in my seat as soon as the bell rang. Relief.
With my usual routine, I strode over to the usual wooden bench out in the lunch area. I ate whatever was served in silence. Oh look, some cronies have come to ridicule me about my hair, my name, my personal everything...
By the time I'm home, I feel drowned out. But it's a feeling to get used to.
With my mom usually gone, I wait for Claire to hop off the bus.
Blah blah, homework, blah, sleep, blah blah, repeat.
So there's plenty of reason to want to change in my case. It could be worse, of course, but that's different.
Sometimes, for an escape, I take the fifteen minute walk down to a wooded area on some side street. I let my thoughts free in the serenity of the trickling stream, chirping birds, and blue skies. That's the only thing I would never change. Never.
I wonder what it'd be like to dye my hair, change my name, and move away, all the time. It'd be my escape to a world of different opportunities, different people, different lifestyles. But in my situation, that'd be practically impossible. It would be nice to run away, and do whatever I want. People at school would actually know I existed. I'm just not the type of girl who would do that though.
The thoughts at the back of my mind visit me frequently.
Some day... some day...
That some day would have to wait.
Something tells me it won't be long, though.
