Nepenthe: Kim Hyojong/E'Dawn

Meeting

Life through her eyes was like a kaleidoscope. Nothing seemed real and everything was distant but yet so close to her fingertips. It was almost like her whole life, her existence was merely an echo that bounced back into the shell that she called her body. Jihye was the shell and she believed somewhere her soul was a hermit crab somewhere off in the distance; waiting to welcome herself back into a warm completion.

Happiness was ephemeral; here in an instant, gone in a flash. Her stability was a child walking on an iced over lake, constant uneasiness and short breaths of relief. Jihye wanted one thing in her life.

To be one.

She wanted to feel whole, to breathe and actually live. Jihye could never say her name out loud without it feeling foreign on her tongue. Nothing about her felt real or right. She just. Existed. Too many nights were spent on her bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing she could live.

Tonight, she felt it all. She wanted to be set free. In her dim apartment, the only light that came in was the street lights through her white curtains. Jihye had been staring out the window, looking out for nearly two hours at this point. The 3AM eye bags had settled on her tired face, her fingers felt raw from constantly circling around her coffee mug.

Birds. They came and went, flying by her window. Jihye wanted to fly, just like them. To be free and leave nothing behind but wind that would gently tickle your face, leaving a fresh breeze that went to your core. To fly was such a beautiful concept to her. To just soar and be eternal.

Without much thought, Jihye got up and left her apartment. She knew the route she wanted to go, she'd walked it many times before. Just up two flights on stairs and to the left was the door to the rooftop. Many times she had gone up here to look at what stars weren't dimmed from city lights, to sit at the edge, to breathe. Tonight she wanted to fly.

Jihye pushed through the door with the familiar hollow click of the push handle to be met with someone else who wanted to fly.

On the crumbling brick ledge stood a blonde male. He had his arms spread out, his button down shirt open and flapping in the gentle breeze. His black boots seemed firm yet willing on the brick, keeping him there but ready to simply glide right off. Silver rings on his fingers caught the light and had a dull twinkle, his slender fingers caressing the wind that blew past them. Slowly, he turned his head with his arms still extended to look at the intruder. His eyes were so beautifully sorrowful, sunken and purple sockets.

"W-what are you doing?" Jihye damn well knew what he was up to, but she wasn't prepared for someone who had the same idea as her, at this time, hour, day, building.

Slowly, he put his arms down but didn't turn around, he simply looked down at the street below them. His face caught a orange glow, making his lips shine. "What you were going to do."

Jihye bit her lip, starting to gently walk up to him, standing next to him. She looked up at him, seeing his focused eyes and his relaxed hands. "Please get down."

The male chuckled, a slight smirk on his lips. He finally looked at her, licking his lips. "It's funny how we want to die but when it comes to other people, we want to save them. I don't want to be saved, as much as you don't want to." He spoke as if he was mocking her, but obliged her request and climbed down, sitting on the ledge with his legs dangling over them. "Come on, saviour. You wanted to come up here anyway, don't let me stop you." His hand gave the spot next to him a gentle pat.

Without hesitation, Jihye climbed up and sat down right next to him. She placed her hands on her lap, looking down just as he was. The street was more or less empty, cars idle and quiet. Every now and then there was a ripple of life, a light turning on or off, people walking by, a stray cat meowing in the distance. Other than that, the world was as good as dead.

For a solid thirty minutes, neither of them spoke. They didn't move, they didn't turn their heads, nothing. It was a simple, comfortable silence that revolved them. They both knew what was on each other's minds; their wings were clipped.

"Why jump?" He finally asked, his eyes staying on the street.

"I want to fly."

"That's cute."

A smile crept on her lips; how morbid. "What about you?"

He turned to look at her alas. "It seems so permanent and quick. You could miss with a gun, your rope could snap or you don't get quite enough distance, you could handle pills, bleeding out could just make you pass out, I never really liked the water." There was a slight pause. "I just want it all to be over, you know?"

"All too well."

There was another silence.

"We have this idea that dying can be beautiful when it's so raw and sudden. There is no beauty, only pain. That's all there ever is, pain." He closed his eyes and took a breath. "This is ugly." It was silent again, only this time Jihye's heart ached inside of her chest. The hammering of her heard could be heard in the depths of her ears. "Is that why you want to fly? So you can be beautiful?"

"I want to be free..." Jihye finally got out, her voice a bit strained. "There won't be anything beautiful about my body hitting the ground. I actually imagine it to be quite horrid."

The male cracked a small smile as he looked over at her, his blonde hair falling in front of his eyes. "What's your name?" He asked after a small pause.

"Jihye."

He swung his body around carefully and clutched he edge of the ledge so he could face the door. Leaning over, he got so close to her ear that she could almost feel his lips against her skin. "Save me tomorrow, Jihye." He said in a gentle voice before pushing himself up, and walked away.

Before Jihye could even turn around to ask him his name, he was already opening the door, and he was gone.