More Than Anything

You've been laying in your bed for what feels like an eternity, but realistically, it was probably just twenty minutes. Not moving, twitching, barely even breathing. You were hungry, your stomach grumbling, but you ignored it, opting to sulk in your misery.

You'd been in a good mood for a majority of the day, starting it by waking up next to your boyfriend of 2 years, Bucky, eating breakfast with the team. You went to a debriefing for a mission you went on with Sam and Nat a few days ago, and then the three of you went and joined Steve and Bucky in the training center. Everything had been fine, you went in, gave your boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek, and went to the opposite side of the room to spar with Nat. You had been there for about an hour when you felt it.

That's how it worked. You could be the happiest person in the world one minute, and then crying in the corner the next. Depression hit you like a ton of bricks at the worst moments, and you despised it for that.

You stood up and announced that you were done for the day, speed walking to your quarters, wanting to get there as soon as possible before you broke down in the middle of the hallway.

And now here you were. You didn't expect Bucky to follow you, because you know that he likes hanging out in the gym, training with Steve for most of the day, him claiming that it's a good way to knock his anger out. So usually, he went as soon as he was finished with breakfast (which you have to force him to eat), comes out for lunch (Which you also force him to do), and then he gets finished at around 4, 5 on some days.

You finally made the effort to move, the first one you made since you barged into your room only minutes ago, to look at the clock. To your surprise, it was already 4:00, I guess you had been laying down for more than twenty minutes. You were expecting Bucky to open the door any minute now, him assuming that you'd already taken a shower since you left the gym a little bit ago.

And, you guessed correctly, because not ten seconds after you thought that, Bucky busted through the door laughing, almost like a hurricane.

"Doll, you'll never believe what I just did to Sa- hey, wait," he said, stopping in his tracks, "have you been crying?"

You didn't know how to respond, but your emotions did apparently, and you started breaking down, sobbing again. He rushed to the side of the bed, sitting down next to you before pulling you up and wrapping you in his arms.

He'd seen you like this a million times before, always trying his hardest to comfort you, even before you started going out he did it. So, he knew exactly what you needed, so he grabbed you tight, opting not to say anything, letting his actions speak for him.

Your hands were wrapped around his neck, holding on to him as if he'll disappear if you let go. He just took his flesh hand and started rubbing your scalp through your hair, waiting patiently for you to calm down a little bit on your own so you could tell him what you wanted to do. That was a traditional thing you did every time something like this happens. If one freaks out, the other will wait for them to decide what they want them to do to try and make them feel better. Sometimes you'll ask for a massage, which he'll gladly do, and he usually opts for just going to the gym and taking it out on the punching bags, and then spending the rest of the night cuddled up to you.

After a few minutes, he heard you're sobbing starts to die down, so he figures he should ask you now before you're English is incomprehensible again. He pulls you back to have you at eye level before asking you.

"What do you wanna do, babydoll?" he questioned sincerely, wanting nothing more than for you to be the happy, smiling person you were just a few hours ago. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

You took a second to gather your thoughts into one place before responding.

"Shower." You mumbled, hoping he understood you so you didn't have to waste energy speaking again. You felt like you had a pound of bricks on your chest, preventing you from breathing properly.