Bending the Rules of Life

My Diagnosis

I feel pain. I feel pain constantly. I choose to feel pain. I don't ever get used to it. Everyday it only gets worse. Everyday the curve in my spine becomes more severe.

Hi. My name is Mae. My full name is Maeve Jolie Ballis. I have a curve in my spine, better known as scoliosis. My pain wouldn't be as bad if I were smart. 

Growing up I knew I wasn't normal.  I could bend.  I could bend back and sideways. I could bend my legs. My arms. My back.  I could twist. I could twist my legs. My arms. My back.

I decided to teach myself the art of contortion at the age of six.  At the age of twelve I was diagnosed with scoliosis. My parents tried to tell me to stop bending. I told them I can tolerate pain. I can't, but nothing would stop me from doing what I love.  My older sister, Bianca, or Bea, was diagnosed with bipolar just a year before. And then just a year after my diagnoses, she died from an intentional overdose on drugs. All this time I thought I was doing this for fun. But now, I realize that my passion is more than a hobby. When I preform, I feel liberated. I feel aerodynamic. I feel temporarily freed from my solitary life at home. Now, I dedicate my performances to Bea, the one who showed me the light in the darkest moments.