Hi! This a new ShavoxJohn fic
I took inspiration from a song by Billie Eilish, you could read this while listening it
Here's the link: https://youtu.be/tyve1d5kNdo
I hope you'll like it, have a nice day <3<3
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Shavo looked at his clock, again.
His breath was pretty short, already.
That afternoon was just him and John.
And, obviously, that made his heart thrill so hardly.
He was waiting, then, for his bus; the two were living a bit far from each other, but not enough to stop them from meeting weekly.
There, he finally saw the bus stopping in front of the bench, about three meters from him.
He stood up fastly, and almost ran to his favorite seat. His hat acted like a pillow, when his head leaned on the glass, and his eyes got lost for a little.
He was in love, of course.
He was so in love, sometimes he thought that feeling could eat him alive.
It was painful, it ached a lot, but in a certain way he liked it. He thought about not seeing him anymore, but that wasn't the right solution. A minute was enough to make him miss his crush.
Everytime they met his chest hurt, but he didn't really care, if John was there with him. It felt like a veil divided them, but Shavo was the only one to see it. By the way, he couldn't help himself but being happy to have the opportunity to see him, and spend a bit of time together.
But he cried, too.
The thought that he would never have had him destroyed him. He couldn't do nothing about it, not even talk. It was a secret too dangerous to tell.
His phone vibrated in his pocket, making him wince softly.
John, 03:34 pm:
"hey man, what if you stay for dinner? We'd have some mac n cheese"
Shavo read it and his eyes got filled with happiness, as he typed down a fast "fine for me" and came back to look outside, his cheeks traced by the sweetest smile.
×××
-Hey, dude! Come in!
John looked at his friend with a relaxed smile, taking the door handle.
They immediately moved in the living room, as usual.
John lowered the volume of the TV, and turned to Shavo, which sat on the sofa in a tense posture.
Actually, he looked pretty nervous since he saw John opening the door.
-Are you ok?
The other asked him, and took a step towards the sofa.
-..Ah, yes yes! Sorry,,
Shavo smiled a bit, then giggled of embarrassment.
John smiled, and tilted his head.
-Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything bad!
-Oh, uhm, yeah right..
Shavo finished to hide part of his face with one hand, feeling hot.
The other man looked at him for some seconds, without saying a word. Then he sat next to him, but not too close.
-Did something happen? You know you can talk to me.
The drummer's voice was soft, and light.
-Also, if this isn't a good day for you, we could always have dinner another night-..
-N-no! I swear I'm fine! I'm just a little tired..!
Shavo lifted his head and looked at him, his eyes seemed worried.
-Alright, good.. So, you wanna stay?
-Yes.
The man nodded once, and put his hands between his thighs, moving a bit.
-..I'm sorry, I didn't want to sound like I want to kick you out of here..
John looked to the ground, sighing.
-It didn't sound like that.. I know you care about me~
Shavo purred and went closer to the other, before laughing a bit.
-Actually I really do.
John smiled at him, then looked away.
Some silence floated in the room and between them, giving space just to the muffled sound of the TV transmission.
-And you? Are you ok?
Shavo voice interrupted the awkward quiet. John raised his eyebrows, and took a deep breath.
-Well yeah, I mean, everything as usual..
-Hm.. Yeah...
Shavo looked at him, as his eyes went sad.
-You don't look so happy,,
The other man made eye contact with him, before his sight came back to the ground.
-You neither.
-It's- just because you're not.
-Me..?
-No, I was talking to the carpet.
John ended to giggle, and crossed his arms on his chest.
-Sorry man, I don't have this kind of conversations, usually..
-It's ok, it's ok. Just lemme help you!
Shavo smiled brightly and tended his arms towards him, thing that looked so cute to the eyes of John, who tried to hide it.
-W-what is it? You wanna give me a hug?
He said laughing. Shavo slowly let down his arms and frowned.
-Ahh, sorry, I didn't-- I'm sorry..
-I wanna help you...
-Why?
That question blocked Shavo so bad, as his cheeks colored a bit, and his body hid in the large sweater.
-N-nevermind..
-Hm..
They spent some time by talking about some stuff, silly things mostly.
-I.. Like your hat.
John mumbled in a lack of something to say.
-It's just, the same hat I wear everyday.
Shavo smiled, as the other sighed, again.
-Shavo, did you ever felt like..
-Mh..?
John shushed for a little.
-No, nothing...
-Hey, John, c'mon,, tell me.
-Yeah, uhm.. Like, feeling alone?
They looked at each other, but that time none of them shifted his sight away.
The smaller's eyes looked faded. The other seemed worried.
-Yes, I feel alone, a lot. Lots of reasons..
Shavo tilted his head, lightening his voice.
-Yeah, me too.
The bassist looked around, and felt his heart starting to beat faster, and harder.
Maybe that was a chance for him to help his friend out, for real. His head found itself in a cloud of confusion, and his face turned rosy.
-I- I could help, I guess? Yea, yeah I guess...
The other man looked interested, as he turned completely to his friend.
-Yes..? What's on your mind?
-Y-you just have to look around.
-To find someone?
Shavo nodded, and changed his position a bit too, finding himself suddenly uncomfortable by sitting there.
John smirked in sorrow, and looked due to the window.
The other felt his eyes becoming lucid, and his lips flutter. He really didn't know what to do then.
×××
John felt his t-shirt sleeve being pulled, softly.
As he turned, he received a small kiss on his cheek, by a very close and nervous Shavo.
-What..
The drummer receded a bit, so surprised.
-Oh, oh my God, sorry..
The taller put a hand on his mouth and stood up, walking away from the sofa by long steps.
-Shavo!
The other too stood up and followed him rapidly, till he reached to take his arm.
-Shavo, please, what are you..
He got in front of his friend, to understand he was crying.
-What you meant with.. That?
The other wiped his own tears with the sweater, bending his head in a tentative to hide.
-I just.. John, please, I'm sorry, I'm just a fool..
-Hey... Don't cry, it's ok, nothing bad happened..
John took a step forward and stroked his cheek.
-John, I, I.. You are- I'm not like...
A sob blocked his chaotic words, as his hand held the other's wrist.
John looked up and leaned towards him, putting a fast kiss on his lips.
The taller boggled and opened his eyes widely, taking a step back.
-W-wait, w-w, what?!
-Where are you going...
The shorter hugged him, and left another kiss on his shoulder.
-J-John..
-..Don't go.
