Accept Me. Will You?

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Screams. That's what I heard the first thing when I woke up. The screams were so loud that I couldn't comprehend from where they were coming but images were flashing in front of my face one after another. Images that I wanted to forget so badly, that I almost ended everything. But I couldn't.

I was submerged somewhere, it seemed. Half in this universe and another half somewhere else. A door slammed somewhere and I woke up with a start, coughing and huffing. That is when realization dawned upon me.

The screams were mine and what I just saw was a nightmare. Taking my head in my hands, I cursed the lost sleeping pills.

"Well, I guess you enjoyed the movie." I almost screamed but stopped myself.

"Daksh, what are you doing in my room? You know what, just get lost, I am not in mood."

I stood from my bed and instantly regretted it as the cold air attacked me. Going to my bedside, I started my hunt to find the lost sleeping pills.

"Well I was just passing by and decided to give a dose to my curiosity, Alicia."

"Just leave me alone."

"Gladly, but why were you screaming?" He asked. How do I answer that?

Just give a lame answer. No one will know. Who cares to see deep when the problem could easily be solved on the surface?

"Oh, I just saw a lizard."

"Alright."

As my stupid brother left, I clutched my head and sat on my bed, thinking. Thinking about what I have done. What was my mistake to have all these pressures thrusted upon me?

I fought with Kavya yesterday. This was the first time we fought so badly. And I absolutely hate it. She is my best friend and fighting with her kind of rips my soul. We were together through every up and down, through every difficulty. She saw me at my most vulnerable state.

And she threw all of this in trash like it just didn't matter to her anymore. Like our friendship didn't mean anything. Like my dedication and love for her was absolutely nothing.

She fought with me because I was giving more time to my dreams than her. Obviously I was going to be busy more because I wanted a better future for me and my family. And even after apologizing, all she did was just shut me off and become best friends with some another girl.

It hurts so much that I can't even explain. No matter how much I tell myself I don't need a friend or how I tell myself that relationships are complicated, I miss her a lot.

I miss how she laughed on stupid things, I miss her confused face when we used to sit in math class in fourth grade, I miss how she never felt that I was some mad person and treated me normally.

I miss her, truly miss her. I don't want to let go. I don't want to be unhappy, but without her, I feel incomplete. Wow, I am such an emotional mess. I am never getting in this best friend shit again.

I also love reading and writing, and I am also trying to come with a good plot, but what to write when everything just feels practically smudged? It's like reality is playing with my dreams and they are both colliding to form another world to which I want to escape to but I can't.

I just can't escape. I can't run away. No matter how hard I try, this is where I have to stay and I have to stay and deal, even if everything seems as if it is slowly falling apart.

Going to the shower, I turned it on and let the thoughts seep from the clutches of my brain to an unknown world, a world where I feel safe and loved. The world where my dreams reside and hope for a better future dwells.