1 Last Picture

You were my one and only. You were my blessing. You were brother. You were my lover.

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We took one last picture before you entered the surgery room. You're red hair that sat on your head. Bangs covering you forehead. Eyes that always had sadness in them but you always blinded people with that beautiful smile.

You were suffering. I couldn't do anything about it. You stayed strong until your time came.

"I don't want you to go." Tears race down my cheeks.

"There's nothing I can do." His hands rises to my left cheek wiping away the tears.

"There has to be a way. Please don't leave yet." I lay my head on his chest listening to his steady but very slow heart beats.

He strokes my hair with silence. My heart is filled with pain and my mind is everywhere. I couldn't let him go. Not yet. Not today.

There's nothing I can do. I love him and everyone knows. He loves me too. Everyone knows we are one. This is the hardest to get through in a relationship. I didn't know about his heart condition when we started. Once he told us all I really couldn't let him go. All the talk about we will get through this, promising he will never leave. All the prayers I sent. All the things he got from fans. Everything the doctors tried to do. Nothing helped. He was up and active for a while. I guess it's time to let go.

"Kevin... I love you." Was what I heard as vibration from his chest was felt.

"I love you too." I responded.

His hand slows down from stroking my hair. His chest slowly goes down but doesn't come back up. I don't hear his heart beat anymore. The monitor goes to a straight line and a loud beeeeeeeeeeeeeeppp.

I jump up as the doctors and nurses run in. I drop to my knees sobbing and screaming for him not to go.

I can't believe it. He's gone. He really left my side. He broke his promise. I forgive him anyways.

Hoon helps me to my feet as him and Soohyun take me out of the room. We all comfort each other. The sniffles and sobs coming from us all. The most coming from me.

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A few days later at Kiseob's funeral, the members and I stay back. I begged them to go. I will catch up later.

"I miss you so much. I want to be with you. But I'm sure you'd want me to live my life and be happy. I'll stay strong. For you. Saranghe." I wipe away the tear imagining him wiping it away telling me "no more crying" and sending his sweet and wonderful smile to me.

Later on that day I sit at the computer on the studio, printing out the last picture we took before you entered the room. I hang it on the wall, next to my bed, in my room at the dorm. I smile at it every time before closing my eyes to dream of you and that beautiful personality and that heart warming smile.

        

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You were my one and only. You were my blessing. You were my brother. You were my lover.

Lee Kiseob ♥ saranghe